A Facebook friend just posted a picture of these shorts, and I thought they were a joke. But. They’re not.
These shorts, sold by a company called Armed in Heels, are called UnderTech Undercover Women’s Ultimate Compression Shorts, and they’re currently on sale for $50. The company is a “federally licensed firearms dealer out of Gilbert, AZ” and claims to have the “largest selection of self-defense products for women.”
When I initially saw the Facebook photo, I figured this was someone’s funny (not ha-ha funny; strange funny) attempt to turn a built-in water bottle holder into a gun holster. Nope. Those pockets on the back are actually made for a gun. Nay, two guns—one for lefties, one for righties.
According to reviews, gun carriers wear the shorts under all manner of clothing—skinny jeans, dresses, etc.—so it doesn’t seem like a mental leap to me that they would also wear them running. I mean, they’re made of a micropoly/Lycra blend fabric, the same kind of fabric a lot of running/compression shorts are made of, and they’re meant to keep the gun from flopping around while you move. In fact, one Pinterest user wrote of the shorts: “Compression Shorts with a Built In Holster for Running at Night…….I think every girl needs one of these.”
Here’s what one (notably enthusiastic) product reviewer says:
I had the pleasure of testing out the Small compression shorts! I tried them out with a small revolver and subcompact handgun for about 3 hours while cooking and preparing for a party (so I was already dressed nice!). These worked great in the tightest skinny jeans I could find! The compression in the shorts creates just enough room to fit a compact / subcompact semi-automatic handgun or a revolver. Walking, even in high heels, is not a problem. With the firearm in place, there is slight pressure on the lower part of the back, however it sits right where the top sit bone is, so it is not at all uncomfortable. …The shorts are easy to draw the firearm from, as it is very easy to your accurate grip on the gun while it is still holstered.