Your Husband Watches Porn

As the online porn explosion goes mainstream, more women are finding out about their hubbies’ late-night, clandestine meetings with the soft blue glow of the family computer.

Online porn is infiltrating the American home, and as more men admit their porn consumption, their wives wonder what can be done.

“Does your husband look at porn online?”

Of all the conversations moms have started­ with me as we’ve sat on park benches and watched our kids dangle from various formations of plastic play equipment, not one has ever included the word “porn.”

I was … thrilled.

Porn!

As in not sunscreen, Madagascar 3, or that other mom sitting on that other bench over there.

Jen and I were talking about porn!

Porny porny porny porny porn!

“Why?” I asked, using my most convincing­ I-talk-porn-all-the-time tone lest I scare Jen (obviously not her real name) away from what would no doubt be the most interesting discussion I’d have all week.

“I found a stash on our computer this morning.”

“Noooooo.”

After her husband left for work, Jen was hunting for a craft project (really) that she’d bookmarked. When she clicked the drop-down menu, she saw a page that looked odd.

“It was photos … of that girl … from Glee.” Of course it was. Heather Morris. The dumb-blonde cheerleader/dancer chick who is 25, but plays a teenager. The shots were near-naked. And booby. And involved red leather. Scumbag, Jen thought. She began to dig. Inside the “Dad’s Favorites” folder was the “Corvettes” folder (because the man loves his Corvettes), and inside that was the “Corvette Kit Cars” folder, and inside that was … more Heather Morris. Doing gymnastic-y moves … in a bra and panties.­ And there were other blondes, in various states of undress. Plus some links to sites Jen was afraid to click on.

Jen then did something extremely unexpected, something that might make both Larry Flynt and Gloria Steinem equally proud. She grabbed her camera, took off her clothes, and started taking pictures of herself. And they were dirty. Angles that “only the ob-gyn has ever seen,” she says.

If Marcus wants to look at porn, she thought, I’ll give him porn. She uploaded the shots into a folder titled “Housewife Bares All,” which she added to the “Corvettes” folder, which she had subtly renamed “Dad’s Porn.”

“I can’t wait for him to find it,” she said, having transformed her attitude from scumbag to not-psychotic-at-all. “I just want him to know that I know.”

But suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so playful anymore.

Did my husband watch porn online?

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  • EmmKay

    As a girl who used to have 2 male roommates, I agree with the 100%. They would be sad to learn that this habit would make their wives self-conscious about their bodies and have never cheated on any of the girls they dated.

  • Mary

    Ummm….I’m a homemaker, and I watch porn! Even with my husband.

  • Amanda

    This I actually find funny. I too once told myself that I didn’t care that my guy watched porn. But I do. I care a lot. Not because I feel unwanted because believe you me I’m a bit of a sex fiend myself and we have sex nearly everyday sometimes 3 times a day. I will admit that the reason I was so upset was because he was looking at “rail thin” girls. I myself used to be one of those rail thin girls (no I’m not saying I was in porn just that I used to be one of the skinny girls) I’ve looked through his porn. And I’ve only said something because I was having body issues. I said something another time too but only because I found a folder full of naked ex girlfriends. These were time stamped so I know that he didn’t aquire them recently but I let him know that I was not ok with him keeping those. He deleted them and admitted that he had forgotten they were there. I believed this and still do because this hard drive had been in his car which was here and he’d recently gotten home from a 1 year tour in Iraq.

    That aside I’ll also admit that I too watch porn on occasion. I get some solo time. And yes he has caught me. Now here is where it gets interesting. He was offended. Why? Because he was in the other room. He thought that if I were in the mood that I should tell him. That he was never too busy for that. I found this very amusing. Because it bothers them just as much as it bothers us. Especially if we do it with out them or without telling them.

  • fakename

    Yes he watches porn..yes we all watch porn.
    No matter how hot you are and what how good the sex is….WE WILL WATCH PORN! The End.

  • Matt

    This author is exactly why many men feel the need to hide the fact that they enjoy porn. They are afraid how their partners will react. It’s amazing to me that a woman would be shocked that their man watches porn. He’s been looking at it since puberty, why would he stop now? There have been a million articles written on why men need to understand women better, but the fact of the matter is, most women don’t understand men either. For most men, self pleasuring has nothing to do with their partner. Most men with healthy fulfilling sex lives, still feel the need to masturbate. Don’t get me wrong, communication is key here. If a man wants to watch porn he shouldn’t lie to his partner about it, but I also don’t think he needs to tell her every time he watches a little smut. Just as men need to be in tune to the emotional needs of women, women need to be in tune to the sexual needs of men. My wife knows that I will watch porn by myself. Sometimes, we watch it together. But she doesn’t feel threatened by it. Women who do, show a great deal of insecurity. Often times, I am thinking about my wife while watching porn and it wouldn’t surprise me to know that many men do the same thing. And oh my, GASP, sometimes I think about the woman on the screen. That doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife and think she’s sexy. It just means that I’m a red blooded human being that, GASP again, still finds other woman attractive. Many men are sexual beings as well as many women; It is time we stop kidding ourselves. In the end, if men did a better job communicating their needs and desires instead of trying to hide them or lie about them and women did a better job of understanding those needs and desires, we would have a much healthier society.