The list of problems with the Sixers this year is about as long as James Naismith’s original 13 rules of basketball. No defense inside. Spotty shooting. Inconsistency, in general. Shaky possessions in crunch time. Weak attendance. Stale atmosphere at games. Still no Phil E. Moose. The star center the team traded for in the offseason has only bowled. A broken anti-gravity machine. Even the world’s largest t-shirt cannon is unimpressive.
Fans so far have been able to console themselves with Jrue Holiday, possibly the best point guard in the Eastern Conference, but things are looking even better: Andrew Bynum is on his way back. He even participated in a shootaround, which I am fairly certain is helpful to basketball playing ability.
If all goes well, Bynum could be back next month. Is it too late for Bynum to make a difference? Who cares! Sixers fans need something to hope for. It’s not like they can turn to the Flyers. Despite not playing this season, fans have seen quite a bit of Bynum on the sidelines. And each and every game it seems like he’s rocking a new hairstyle. To celebrate his potential return, here are Andrew Bynum’s top hairstyles of the 2012-13 NBA season. Yes, some of these hairstyles are similar. But it’s fair to bend the rules to get more Bynum hair photos, I think.
8. The training-camp look
Nothing too special about Bynum’s hair here, but I’d like to point out that Bynum, in a pinnie, sitting on a trainer’s table pretty much sums up the entire 2012-13 Sixers season.
7. The standard messy ‘do
I really just wanted to use this photo because it looks like Bynum is a thrill to sit next to on the bench.
6. The team photo
Clearly, Andrew Bynum knew he’d be out for a while and knew his haircuts would be a topic of conversation, so he played it low-key for the team photo and didn’t do a thing to his hair. It has that weird part in it. Clearly just a bad hair day.
I know what you’re saying: That’s nice, but do you have a screen capture of the team headshot alongside manic NBC 10 sports anchor John Clark?
5. The standard afro
This is a decent afro, but he’s worn it better. Keep scrolling.
Bynum is still a joy to sit next to, also.
4. The unkempt afro
Honestly, I just included this for Bynum’s face.
3. The cornrows
A throwback (well, to the early 2000s). This hairstyle is great because it also reminds fans of Allen Iverson and a time when the then-First Union Center was full and the economy was a little better.
2. The mop-top
A Beatles-inspired look? Probably not! This is the most ridiculous of Bynum’s haircuts, but it’s not like he has to wear it all the time. If I had as much money as him I’d change my hair all the time, too.
Not everyone likes this haircut, though. Sixers Pre Game Live analyst John Celestand ripped this haircut apart last night, during a segment on the worst haircuts in the NBA:
“You gotta respect guys when they show some creativity like Nick Young. The step-fade. But this right here, that right there, that is ridiculous. That’s something from the thirties, man. You ever see the movie Malcolm X when they were frying their hair? That’s one of the worst haircuts I’ve ever seen. And that’s not vintage, that’s ridiculous. So, Andrew Bynum, he gets the worst haircut in the league.”
As the team seems to spiral into oblivion this year, John Celestand has become the most entertaining thing about any Sixers broadcast. I’m fairly sure this is the first time Malcolm X has been referenced on an NBA broadcast. If not, it’s probably the first time it’s been referenced when talking about hairstyles.
1. The perfect ‘fro
Look how symmetrical Bynum’s hair is in this photo. That takes hard work (or the money to pay an expensive hairstylist — either way, props). If Bynum had actually played with this hairdo, he’d have an all-time legit NBA afro, at least post-70s. Let’s hope he breaks it out for a game this year.
I know what you’re saying: That’s nice, but do you have an alternate shot with Bynum wearing black leather gloves and a manic-looking Jrue Holiday? Do I.
Now that I think about it, are you allowed to wear a polo shirt under a blazer?