10 Questions We’re Dying to Have Answered on Season 3 of Orange is the New Black
If the streets look empty on June 12th, it’s because fans of Orange is the New Black will be huddled around their TV sets binge-watching the third season of everyone’s favorite ladies-prison drama on Netflix. Since its fiery debut two years ago, the show has become a favorite among pop-culture fanatics thanks to its twisted plot lines, crazy characters, and edge-of-your-seat Litchfield prison drama. While season 2 delivered a ton of satisfying twists and turns, it also left us scratching our heads. The season 3 trailer didn’t do much to help; it actually left us all that more puzzled.
So, in the spirit of anticipation, I’ve rounded up some of the most burning questions I’m dying to have answered when the new season debuts.
1. Is Vee Really Dead?
This is the most obvious, right? Is Vee Parker is actually dead? The last time we saw her, she’d escaped from Litchfield through a passage underneath Red’s infamous warehouse, and was seen running for her life … that is, until Ms. Rosa–who had also jumped ship by highjacking a van—plowed into her, leaving her for dead. The only thing Rosa said? “So mean … that one.” So someone’s either dead as a doornail, or there’s going to be a nasty revenge plot coming at us.
2. Did Ms. Rosa’s Prison Heart Go On?
After she made roadkill out of Vee, our terminal heroine was last seen cruising into the Orange season finale sunset while jamming out to “Don’t Fear The Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult. Sadly, at the end of last season we got the news that Ms. Rosa only had a few weeks to live, so let’s hope she got a chance to start checking some things off her post-prison bucket list.
3. Just How Torrid Will Piper and Alex’s Love Affair Be This Season?
Oh, Piper and Alex. What would Orange be without these two lovely ladies? For two seasons, the exes have sparred back and forth with bouts of passion, pain and pleasure. Last season, the two went their separate ways after Piper learned Alex was the one who tuned her in to get parole. But revenge is a dish best served Orange, and in the Season 2 finale, Alex got herself back in Litchfield after her probation officer, Mr. Davy Crockett, found her in an apartment with a gun—all thanks to Piper and her ex-boyfriend Larry. Judging by what we’ve seen in the trailer, the two lovers have plenty of kinky kinks they still need to work out. Nothing a little makeup sex won’t fix.
4. How Much Trouble Will New Regulars Lori Petty and Ruby Rose Stir Up?
When we first met Petty’s character, Lolly, in the Season 2 premiere, she bonded with Piper on an inmate-filled flight to Chicago. Plot details are mum on Lolly’s return, but we do see her and Alex duking it out in the new trailer, which could only mean trouble. There’s also Ruby Rose, a model-turned-actress who has signed on to play Stella, a sexy new inmate who’s aiming to get involved with both Piper and Alex. Did I just answer No. 3?
5. Will Crazy Eyes Write the Sci-Fi Epic of the Century?
One of the highlights of the season 3 trailer is when we see Crazy Eyes telling a prison worker about a story she’s “working on.” Of her story, Ms. Eyes says, “It’s not just sex, it’s love … with two people connecting … with four other people … and aliens.” Sounds like Crazy Eyes just might have a New York Times best-seller on her hands.
6. Whose Backstory Will Be Our Favorite?
One of the elements that makes Orange so damn good is the wonderful backstories of each character. Of course, Red’s titty-busting tale is one of the show’s best, but last year, with Vee and Tasty’s beginnings and dooms, Ms. Rosa’s crooked robberies, and learning how much of a crazy stalker Lorna is, the show certainly gave us more insight about how each character came to Litchfield. With Petty and Rose now regulars, I’m guessing we’ll learn more about their pasts. Plus, in the trailer we see Natasha Lyonne’s Nicky in what appears to be a flashback sequence. And as hardcore fans of the show know, when it comes to Ms. Nicky, it’s always a good time.
7. Will Red Regain Power?
From the moment in the trailer when we hear Red utter the words, “The world should be seen in black and white … and red,” we can bet the flame haired fan favorite will be back in all her head-bitch-in-charge glory.
8. Will We Ever See Fig, Polly, Larry, or Pornstache Again?
When Orange ended last season, we saw Piper’s ex-bestie Polly and ex-fiancé Larry riding off into the sunset together, and we also saw Fig, um, on her knees begging Caputo for a reprieve. But what about Pornstache? Don’t get your hopes up, because it was confirmed before season-three shooting began that he will not be returning for season 3. But this is Orange is the New Black; anything could happen.
9. Will Caputo Be Able to Hold Down the Post-Fig Prison Fort?
When we left Head Prison Coordinator Caputo, he had been promoted to Fig’s old position of executive assistant to the Warden. However, it wasn’t exactly clear if he was able to hold it down after he was left dealing with not one, but two escaped convicts, all those nuns, and he had also just discovered that security officer John was the father of Dahlia’s baby. That’s a hell of a lot to deal with on your first day in a new position. It will be interesting to see if the stressed-out Caputo can keep his shit together and keep that prison running.
10. Whatever Happened to Lady Locksley?
That is the real burning question of season 3. That poor “Crazy Eyes”-owned lock has been through so much.