The 12 Most Annoying Women on TV (Not Including Kardashians!)

Oprah is the center of the storm.

Last night, former P. Diddy intern Aubrey O’Day, one of the most annoying, obnoxious and repulsive women on television, was excised from Celebrity Apprentice, just one week after Lisa Lampanelli, another one of the most annoying, obnoxious and repulsive women on television, was “fired.” And tonight, Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian, a veritable triumvirate of awful femininity, are on Jay Leno, making me want to pull a Keith Richards on my flatscreen.

But let’s be honest, finding irritating women on reality TV is a little bit like finding profanity in hip hop. So here, with quotes from me and my colleagues and friends, I give you the 12 most annoying, obnoxious and repulsive women on television, past and present, and there isn’t one reality TV star among them.

Note: Be sure to watch the videos, which are pretty priceless, especially Elizabeth Smart’s face at 1:20. And turn the sound up nice and loud for the Activia “commercial.”

Oprah Winfrey

“Does she really have to yell like that?”

Nancy Grace

“Even Elizabeth Smart can’t believe Nancy Grace is Nancy Grace.”

Jamie Lee Curtis on the Activia commercials

“So much for the striptease in True Lies.”

“Instead of Halloween, I now associate her with poop. Well done.”

“Kim Bauer” on 24

“The greatest post-9/11 American TV hero somehow spawned one of the most inept, useless, irritating characters in TV history. She seemed to only exist to place herself and Jack in peril. Her lowest moment: getting caught in a cougar trap while running from a cougar.”

“Daughter or not, if Jack was really concerned about the future of civilization, he would have shot her the first chance he had.”

Florence Henderson

“If she was really your mom, you’d kill her. Or yourself.”

“Any FBI profiler today would tell you that Carol Brady was a latent serial killer.”

Rachael Ray

“As if we needed further proof that FHM [the magazine that twice included her on their 100 Sexiest Women list] was crap.”

Joan Rivers

“It seems appropriate that her last area appearance was at Harrah’s Chester.”

Kirstie Alley

“They took one of the worst actresses on television [Shelley Long as “Diane” on Cheers] and replaced her with this?”

“She was awful long before her awful weight loss show.”

“She’s still annoying. And her and Oprah are friends.”

Christina Pirello, host of PBS’s Christina Cooks

“Giving vegans everywhere a bad name.”

“Peg Bundy” on Married With Children

“A self-absorbed bitch with bad hair. And she was best friends with Marcy, who is pretty much the worst human ever.”

“Grace” on Will & Grace

“I think they tried to make her charmingly neurotic, but she just ended up painfully annoying. And let’s face it, she was a crappy interior decorator.”

“Cristina Yang” on Grey’s Anatomy

“So much for my Asian women fetish.”