“GQ” Names Philly Sixth Worst-Dressed City

Flexes knowledge of common knocks against the city

GQ has posted a list of America’s 40 worst-dressed cities, and Philly came in at number six. My problem isn’t with the ranking—necessarily—as I’m sure the mathematical wizards at GQ have a complicated algorithm to evaluate the strong cause-and-effect relationship between a guy being from Philly and the unlikelihood his closet is filled with Prada and Alexander Wang. The issue I have with the piece is that the explanations for Philly’s dismal placing are plebeian and presumptuous. Worse, it’s just plain lazy.

In less than 200 words GQ manages to make references to Benjamin Franklin, Darren Daulton, Kevin Bacon, cheesesteaks and Rocky. I’m not exactly designing Armani’s fall collection, but I hypothesize that Kevin Bacon’s mullet in the early ’90s has very little to do with style in today’s Philadelphia. And how does Darren Daulton fit into this piece? If we were taking our cues from Dutch, we wouldn’t have time to read GQ‘s accusations because we’d be too busy preparing for the impending Apocalypse or transcending the time-space continuum. The list goes on to condemn us for sporting Vick jerseys, because—clearly—no one in New York dons Plax’s 17 anymore, and you could scour the streets of Pittsburgh all you want but never find someone in a Roethlisberger replica. I’m not positing that Philadelphians should take home a nod for best-dressed—your average Joe in South Philly isn’t exactly a regular at black-tie galas—but that doesn’t mean someone at GQ should watch Queens Logic and extrapolate his findings to generalize about Philly’s sense of style.

Between this list and the oh-so-original “You guys booed Santa” drudgery behind GQ‘s commentary on Philly fans a few months back, these guys are showing about as much effort as the Mets did down the stretch in ’07.