Ask the Expert: How Can I Keep My Mother-in-Law From Trying to Control My Wedding Photographer?



Q: My mother-in-law tends to be a bit controlling, and I’m concerned that on our wedding day, she’s going to be pulling our photographer all over the place and directing him to take tons of photos I don’t really care about. What’s the best way to warn my photog about this and have an understanding with him about this situation?

A: Todd Zimmerman of Bryn Mawr’s Pictures by Todd has encountered this situation many times over his decade-plus on the job. He suggests that couples ask their parents for a list of the photogs they’d like taken on that day. If he can get them all in, he will, he says, but if he can’t, he’ll condense and combine as much as possible—and take the fall with Mom and Dad.

“I’ll suggest the couple tell their parents the photographer says there’s no way to get to all of the images they’re requesting without significantly impacting the timeline of the day” he says. “It’s all about managing expectations, and often it helps when the parents know the message is coming from me rather than the bride and groom.”

Plus, since many photographers work with a second shooter, they can always assign that person to stick with the parents—and let the main photog stay with the bride and groom.

A condensed version of this article originally appeared in the Spring/Summer 2014 issue of Philadelphia Wedding.

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