The Lady Gaga Wedding Rumors Aren’t True, Says The Boyfriend

Lady Gaga

Well, I don’t know where I’ve been, but every time I’ve heard something about Lady Gaga’s supposed wedding supposedly coming up, I always assumed it was supposedly with some phantom boyfriend who no one actually knew for sure existed. I mean, girlfriend wears enough big, white, crazy dresses to stoke wedding rumors without her actually dating anyone.

So you can imagine my surprise when her actual real-life boyfriend actually piped up this time to address the wedding rumors—and not only was he an actual living, breathing, human being, it’s someone I know! I mean, I couldn’t have told you his name, but I recognize him as the pretty guy on that show Chicago Fire, which I have never actually seen save for glimpses when I walk through a room in which my mother is happily watching it on the DVR.

So, long story short? They’re not engaged. No wedding is currently coming up. That they’ll cop to, anyhow. But you know how these celebs are. Next thing you know, I’ll be showing her dress.

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