Would You Want a Proposal Planner?

Illustration by Rhonda Mulder.

Hi, brides.

I saw something on Nightline the other evening (I swear, if one night out of the month I try to be asleep before midnight, Nightline has something on I don’t want to miss), and I was wondering what you all thought about it. If you’re betrothed, you’re past the point of this affecting your life — but still, I’m curious: Would you be cool with your guy hiring a “proposal planner” to come up with a scheme for how he’d pop the question?

Nightline (and I feel like they may have even shown parts on GMA the next morning) profiled Sarah Pease, owner of Brilliant Event Planning in NYC and the biz’s first trademarked Proposal Planner. In short, boyfriends pay anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000 for her to come up with a very romantic and exciting and I guess preferably surprising way for them to become a husband-to-be.

After I watched it, I rolled over to go to sleep with a total scowl on my face. Why? Well nothing against her — in keeping with the name of her business, I actually think this is a brilliant move on her part, and she was very nice and charming and pretty and friendly and smart, and certainly came up with really lovely, and even personal, touches for these proposals — but I definitely hold something against these guys who are signing up with her for this service.

I mean, really, dudes? We already know that you ask our best friends for help with birthday gifts. You run it by our sister before planning out any type of surprise — and we think it’s charming and respectful that you check in with our fathers before popping the question. But asking someone else to come up with the way you’ll ask us to be your one and only, your forever and ever, your wife? Not to mention shelling out coin for this misdirected pursuit that could otherwise be spent on, oh, let’s see: 1) a down payment for a house; 2) the wedding itself; 3) the honeymoon; 4) um, hello — the ring? No.

I am not so heartless as to not realize that the hearts of these men are most certainly in the right place, and that all they want to do is make this the most amazing moment ever for their girl. (Well, most of them anyway — I’d be willing to bet some of them are just lazy and swimming in disposable income.) And I also realize that a lot of guys don’t have the confidence when it comes to this kind of stuff (hence the help from the aforementioned best friends and sisters) to think that they’ll be able to pull off by themselves something as wonderful as this event should be. But guys, this is your thing! From here on out, you shall be the groom! He who is meant to Be Seen and Not Heard! And one day, when you’re husband and wife, she’ll get to tell you that you’re going to be a daddy! This is your chance. Your moment to shine. And in case she hasn’t made this clear enough — because it’s you, and because of what this is, whatever you do, whatever you come up with, will be as wonderful as this event should be. It’ll be perfect. And she’ll say yes.

But hey, that’s just me. Or is it? Like I said, I’m curious what you think! I’m sure that if you’re a lady who has been on the receiving end of one of these professionally planned proposals, you wouldn’t have it any other way. And of course not! But if you could choose — if you knew your guy was mulling over this particular plan of attack — would you want him to hand off these duties to a total, albeit creative, stranger? Or would you want him to just do it himself? Just him, you, and the most gorgeous ring you ever saw. Shout in the comments! We want to hear from you.

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