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John Fetterman and the Lunatic Fringe Body Double Conspiracy Theory

Plus, Helen Gym snags five billionth endorsement. And Bobby Henon gets new digs.

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john fetterman in a video addressing the body double conspiracy theory

United States Senator John Fetterman in a video he made addressing the body double conspiracy theory (Images courtesy John Fetterman/Twitter)

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John Fetterman Addresses Body Double Conspiracy Theory In New Video

United States Senator John Fetterman is back to work. He’s also back to the A+ social-media game he (or his team or, more likely, social media pro Gisele Fetterman) displayed during his campaign against quack-turned-candidate Dr. Oz, who has, thankfully, faded into relative obscurity.

ICYMI, while Fetterman was hospitalized for more than a month for depression, the lunatic fringe came up with a body double conspiracy theory to explain various photos and videos that circulated of Fetterman doing work from the hospital. What is it that they say about people having too much time on their hands?

Anyway, Fetterman decided to address the body double conspiracy theory in a new video that, with some enhanced production values, could very easily become a Saturday Night Live skit.

Enjoy:

Rita’s Water Ice Gets Into the Frozen Coffee Game

If I didn’t know better, I would think that the Philly Voice is on retainer with Rita’s Water Ice.

The media outlet gets every, er, scoop when it comes to Rita’s and their frozen treats. It’s only mid-April, and we’ve already seen three stories about Rita’s on the blog. First it was a piece about gummy bear-flavored water ice at Rita’s. They didn’t miss a beat when it came to covering the new Rita’s beer collaboration with a Bucks County brewer. And now, we get the vital information that Rita’s is selling frozen coffee. (Actually, the Philly Voice teased that same information in March!)

God bless the free press.

Surprising Headline of the Week

“Cop Bites Man at Rooftop Bar.” Actually, the more surprising detail is probably this: the cop in question “is not the first Philly cop involved in an off-duty biting incident.”

Political Movements

Helen Gym just picked up her seemingly five billionth endorsement. But seriously, Gym has racked up a ton of endorsements. And the latest comes from somebody who has absolutely nothing to do with Philadelphia: Boston mayor Michelle Wu.

Speaking of endorsements-via-Twitter, local congressman Brendan Boyle endorsed fraudster George Santos on Monday:

Of course, Boyle wasn’t really endorsing Santos. It was a joke. Sarcasm. He needs to learn how to “wink” on Twitter.

Disgraced former councilperson Bobby Henon just reported to federal prison in New Jersey. A judge sentenced him to three-and-a-half years. So he’ll be out in plenty of time to run to get his old seat back.

By the Numbers

83: Rank of Philadelphia on a list of large American cities based on how much income you need to be considered middle-class, with Fremont, California topping the list with a median household income of $155,968 and Cleveland, Ohio at the bottom with $35,562. The median income in Philly? $52,899.

87: High temperature in Philly on Friday. But don’t think it’s summer yet. Lows in the 40s return on Sunday for at least four days.

11: Years an eight-foot-long alligator was living in one Philadelphia woman’s basement until she surrendered it this week.

110,000: Bulbs the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society planted along the Benjamin Franklin Parkway earlier this year. About 30,000 are estimated to be in full bloom as you’re sitting here reading this.

And from the Plus-and-Minus Sports Desk …

How many of you, like me, gasped aloud when you saw this header on a “breaking news” email from the Inky yesterday? “Eagles’ Jalen Hurts’ off-season ankle surgery … ”

WTF? Isn’t this the same Jalen Hurts we just signed to the Birds’ biggest-ever contract? For the next five years?!?! It was a weird tense thing, it turns out. He’d already had the minor surgery, on his ankle, to remove “some hardware” from a prior procedure; that this news became public one day after he signed that monster contract is just … coincidence. Or an attempt by the Inquirer to induce widespread heart failure hereabouts.

It was feast or famine for the Phils’ impromptu doubleheader against the Cubs yesterday. In the first game, everybody was a hitter, with a starring role from Josh Harrison, who drove in four runs on three hits, including his first homer of the season. The Phils racked up three in the first inning alone, led off by Nick Castellanos, who also had three hits in the game. Zack Wheeler was mighty at the start but managed to load the bases with no outs in the third and eventually gave up four runs before relinquishing the mound for the sixth. Greg Soto and Craig Kimbrel each had a strong inning in relief, and Seranthony Dominguez and Jose Alvarado mowed down three batters apiece to close things out. What relief pitching problem?

Oh, and Bryson Stott extended his hitting streak through the first 17 games of the season, setting a Phillies record.

The second game was another matter altogether. Sox pitcher Lucas Giolito no-hit the Phils through six innings, with a solitary base runner, Kyle Schwarber, reaching on a walk. Meantime, Bailey Falter was shaky early, giving up a three-run homer by Jake Garber in the first, but settled in nicely and retired 14 straight Sox to go into the seventh. That’s when Giolito was replaced by Kendall Graveman, thank God. Except Graveman got the Phils on three straight outs.

In the seventh, Falter walked Jake Burger, then got two out before Elvis Andrus singled and Burger went to third. Bailey was at 92 pitches, the most he’d ever had in a Major League game, and hung in there to notch a Lenyn Sosa ground-out to end the inning. Night done for him.

I’d just like to note that I much admire the Sox “Southside” unis.

In the eighth, Brandon Marsh finally got a hit! A leadoff double!

Alec Bohm was just barely out on a liner to left caught by a diving Andrew Vaughn, and Marsh scrambled back in time, then took third on a wild pitch. Harrison struck out, and J.T. Realmuto came in to pinch-hit for Stubbs. Pitching change! In came Aaron Bummer — another great baseball name — who struck Realmuto out. Sheesh, were we never gonna score?

Luis Ortiz pitched the eighth for the Phils and got three straight outs. Now, Phillies? Now?

Jake Cave, pinch-hitting for Cristian Pache, struck out. Guess who was up next? Bryson Stott, with that 17-game streak on the line.

And he flew out. Damn. That brought up Trea Turner, who struck out. Game over. The two teams meet again and finish out the series today at 2:10.

Gina Mizell had an interesting piece in the Inquirer on the family and occupational history between Sixers coach Doc Rivers and his son-in-law, Nets point guard (and former Sixer) Seth Curry. What can we say? It’s complicated!

One more night till the Sixers head to Brooklyn to face the Nets at home. And how did I almost forget? The U.S. Men’s National Team (that’s soccer, friends) faces off against major rival Mexico tonight at 10 p.m. Watch some soccer, yo!

All Philly Today Sports Desk coverage is provided by Sandy Hingston.

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