The Best Thing That Happened This Week: Small Dogs Go to La Salle

What, making the dean’s list isn’t responsibility enough?

This week, La Salle University announced that starting in the fall, its St. George Hall will become the first local college dorm to be officially designated dog-friendly. Before you start wagging that tail, you should know there are a few conditions. Roommates have to agree to put up with Bowser. Student dog owners (not P.C., I know; don’t @ me) have to pay an Approved Dog Accommodation Fee, guarantee that all shots and licenses are up-to-date, spay or neuter Spot, and agree to be responsible if Chief chews the common-room sofa to shreds. Students also have to swear to pick up that poo.

But the really good news is that the policy limits campus pups to 30 pounds or under and specifically excludes “German Shepherds, Doberman Pinschers, Rottweilers, Pit Bulls/pit mixes, Great Danes, Dalmatians, Mastiffs, St. Bernard’s [sic] and Wolfhounds,” a.k.a. the only kinds of dogs worth having. Great! Hooray! Let all the stupid little shih tzus and bichons frises and Cavalier King Charles spaniels and beagles and Yorkshire terriers—hell, ALL the terriers—head off to college. (Kids, it’s gonna be hard to focus on statistics once those nasty little critters start yapping. … ) That will just leave more real dogs for the rest of us.