Behold the Nick Foles Prayer Candle (and More Eagles Merch You Didn’t Know You Wanted)

Why dress up like a dog when you can look like a bleeding green Zorro on Super Sunday?

L: Eagles prayer candle (Etsy) R: German Shepherd mask (Amazon).

Much has been said in regard to sports taking the devotional place of religion here in Philadelphia, and while other cities may similarly lay claim to such a heretical disposition, I must first ask this qualifying question: Where else in the world can you buy prayer candles bearing the likeness of the hometown team’s backup quarterback? Only in Philly …

For the low, low price of $8 you can save yourself a trip to church by purchasing a Nick Foles votive on Etsy – complete with an instructional guide for drawing the best Eagles juju from its mystical scented powers. (Hint: Burn ONLY on Super Bowl Sunday). Our injured starter might be Ginger Jesus, but fans can still pray to his apostle St. Nick for good luck.

If you threw out that old Foles jersey following his first turn in midnight green, fear not! Plenty are still on sale at the Eagles team shop and other retailers for $99.99. If that price is a little too rich for your blood, we recommend picking up this NSFW Napoleon Dynamite-themed gem or this, perhaps the ugliest Eagles shirt in existence. Love the Birds and birds? This hand-drawn design is just for you.

Dog masks are back in stock on Amazon and guaranteed arrival before the big game if ordered through Prime — but we can do better, Philly. How about dressing up like green Zorro or a Mexican luchador instead? You’re sure to be the talk of the party in either outfit.

If you’re anything like me and prefer to go retro, better come prepared to break the bank as vintage Starter jackets run up to several hundred dollars on eBay. Best paired with this Kelly green helmet ski mask. Happy hunting, Birds fans!