Cosby Wisely Shuts Down “Sex Assault Tour” Idea

The Cos denies the world an O.J. Simpson-esque “If I Did It” moment.

Bill Cosby preliminary hearing

The similarities between Bill Cosby and O.J. Simpson are so uncanny that they’re difficult to ignore. Both were social trailblazers in their day, African-American men who achieved great success and were accepted by the notoriously fickle, overwhelmingly white base that once set the standard for pop-culture relevancy.

Simpson and Cosby were each considered wholly “nonthreatening” by a country whose general populace has a fear of black men. The Juice was a welcome guest in homes across America as a commercial pitchman and sideline reporter on NFL Sundays, while the Cos provided wholesome life lessons coupled with belly laughs as Dr. Huxtable. That, of course, was all before shocking downfalls brought both careers to a screeching halt – tarnishing each man’s once sterling reputation.

Simpson was famously acquitted in the 1994 murders of his wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman, while jurors in Cosby’s recent trial on sexual assault charges couldn’t come to a consensus. Despite the absence of guilty verdicts in either case (Simpson was later found liable in a civil wrongful death case, and Cosby will be retried at a later date after a mistrial was declared in early June), each man has been convicted in the court of public opinion.

Most assumed O.J. was a murderer following his highly televised landmark trial, and the former football star didn’t earn himself any new supporters with If I Did It, a 2006 book in which the Juice spilled the beans on how he would have killed his wife and Goldman if he had in fact done it … wink, wink.

The book (authored by a ghostwriter who actually served as a witness for the prosecution against Simpson) was part-autobiographical, with O.J.’s account of the murders described as a work of “fiction.” Needless to say, If I Did It caused serious outrage before it was ultimately pulled from publication. This bizarre post-trial turn of events has an eerie echo in Cosby, who until recently was reportedly considering hitting the road on an extremely misguided “sex assault tour” floated by his people.

Following Cosby’s mistrial, representatives for the comedian said that he was interested in hosting a set of traveling forums. Spokesman Andrew Wyatt described the event series to CNN as “an educational tour on what people should be cognizant of in regard to sexual abuse allegations and the dangers.”

“It’s easy to be falsely accused of sexual assault,” Wyatt said. “If it could happen to Bill Cosby, it could happen to anybody. So people need to be aware of the definitions and perceptions.”

Yeesh. That statement just made my skin crawl. You know, Andrew, stand-up guys don’t get accused of similar behavior as Cosby because there’s no mistaking their intent with women. It’s a little bit beyond personal perception when nearly 50 women say the same awful thing about you.

Of course Team Cosby went right into damage control after the country freaked out when news broke of the tour. Defense attorney Angela Agrusa told reporters that her client “doesn’t take lightly these criminal charges” and would “never do anything that undermined the importance of this issue” in shooting down the proposed idea, AP reported.

What could Bill Cosby possibly have to say about sexual assault that anybody would find meaningful or insightful? Thankfully the plug was pulled on this disgrace of an idea, which is legitimately in the running for the worst I’ve heard all year. Just go away, Cos. Nobody wants to hear from you any more.

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