WATCH: The Phillie Phanatic Faces Off Against Tommy Laswordfish
The Phillies won on a walk-off single by Freddy Galvis in the 10th inning yesterday, beating former closer Jonathan Papelbon. The 3-2 win over the Nationals was exciting, for sure, but up to that point the highlight of the Phillies’ game yesterday was the team’s annual promotion celebrating the Phillie Phanatic’s birthday.
Before the game, the Phillies trotted out a murderer’s row of mascots, including Swoop from the Eagles, Franklin from the Sixers, a bunch of college mascots (Hooter the Owl, the Hawk, Will D. Cat, the Quaker, the La Salle Explorer, et cetera), a few minor league affiliates, the ZOOperstars (a bunch of inflatable mascots that parody famous athletes, such as Stallion Iverson) and the Galapagos Gang (four inflatable mascots that often join the Phanatic at the ballpark nowadays).
The Phanatic’s mother was also there, proving she was not holding a grudge from the time five years ago when the Phanatic drilled her right in the snout with a pitch.
Today marks five years since the Phillie Phanatic hit his mother in the face with a pitch. pic.twitter.com/6RxNpkgh1w
— Dan McQuade (@dhm) April 17, 2016
The Phanatic’s birthday, naturally, leads to many questions about the whole affair. First: How old is the Phanatic? “According to his spokesman, the Phanatic’s actual birthdate is unknown since his birth records never arrived from the Galapagos Islands,” Philly Voice’s Ryan Lawrence reports. How did the Phanatic emigrate to the United States, then? Is he a citizen? We know he was baptized Christian, as his godparents are Captain Noah and the late Mrs. Noah. Will Philadelphia one day face the wrath of an angry God for baptizing this creature?
Sure, The Phanatic is happy to see Derek Cheetah and Cow Ripken Jr. But would it kill his father to show up to one of these parties?
— Matt Gelb (@MattGelb) April 17, 2016
And, as Inquirer Phillies beat guy Matt Gelb asks, where is the Phanatic’s father? His mother, Phoebe, is always around. But would it kill his dad to show up sometime? And, as Adam Bonin has noted, does the Phanatic get sad he always has to spend his birthday at work?
Oh, I get it. The Phanatic was blindfolded when writing invites to his birthday, which is why he forgot his pal Paws. @MattGelb
— Paws (@SEPTA_Dog) April 18, 2016
The mascot invites also led to some local ones feeling left out by the Phanatic.
But the highlight of the game was the Phillie Phanatic’s battle with Tommy Laswordfish. This plays off an old bit where Tommy Lasorda — who is no fan of the Phillie Phanatic — attacked the Phanatic for mocking him.
The Phanatic may not have caught Tommy Laswordfish yesterday, but perhaps we can credit him for the team’s comeback.
Follow @dhm on Twitter.