9 Philly Missed Connections That Need to Happen This Valentine’s Day
It’s not easy to find love — especially in Philadelphia, especially in February.
But it’s not like we’re not trying. No, we’re trying really hard — from the Whole Foods check-out line to the Market-Frankford El — to make contact with fellow humans. Some of us just aren’t very good at it.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re nudging along some of the cuter Missed Connections posted on Craigslist during the past two weeks. You guys deserve to be happy, if only just for one fake holiday. (As for the gross guys trying to pick up Kelly Drive joggers? Ya’ll are on your own – and stop that right now.)
Recognize yourself? Get in touch! Don’t, but like what you’re reading? These people are looking for love on Craigslist — they’ll probably give you a chance.
“I asked you if you dropped a sock. You have the most amazing voice that I can’t get out of my head. I would love to talk with you over many cups of coffee.” Laundromat, West Philly
“How did you two meet?” “Oh, I dropped a sock, and we lived happily ever after.” No pressure, but you guys owe it to the universe to live out this Hugh Grant movie.
“I literally fell for you at 30th Street Station. You were wearing a Drexel Athletics jacket. I’m sorry it was so crowded and I accidentally groped you! Would love to purposely grope you.” Eastbound El
It’s not easy to find a woman who both wants to touch you and uses “literally” correctly. Don’t let this one get away, Drexel.
“I just can’t stop thinking about how nice it was for someone to stop while it was snowing/sleeting to help two women who were struggling getting a couch out of a house. Shot in the dark that you would actually see this, but even if you don’t, I wanted to shout out to humanity that there are decent people out there and that you are one of them.” Tulip Street, Fishtown
That was really nice, sir. Really, really nice. In the unlikely event that you are actually from Philadelphia, perhaps you should consider dropping by Tulip Street again. If you’re just passing through, perhaps you should consider relocating — we’re easily impressed around these parts.
“We met in the checkout line. We were both buying a new vegan cheese. I would love to talk.” Whole Foods, North Wales
Vegan cheese, eh? You two should shack up immediately and keep that shit to yourselves. Nobody else will ever love you or your impostor pizzas.
“You two got bad coke and I offered to make up for it. After I dropped you off, Morgan kissed me and it was amazing.” Fishtown
Morgan! Stop buying dodgy coke and getting in cars with strangers. Then, maybe give this guy a call – you could do worse. In fact, you are actively trying to do worse.
“You helped me look for Pretzel Crisps at the store this evening – great smile.” Target, South Philly
This might be the closest thing to joy that the South Philly Target has ever seen. Make it happen, gentlemen.
“I overhead that your name is Carmen when the clerk called you over. It seemed like the post office lost your oversized package. I hope it turns up.” Post Office, 30th and Chestnut
This guy went the entire post — the whole thing! — without making an “oversized package” joke. Not one. That kind of heroic self-restraint deserves, if not true love, at least a Valentine’s Day date.
“You were walking with your human companion. You were holding a brown paper bag in your mouth and looked very happy. I need to know, what was in the bag? If you could get your human friend to reply it would be greatly appreciated.” 12th and Pine
Human friend, this beautiful weirdo just addressed a Missed Connection to your bag-toting dog. Go forth and be adorable together.
“I forgot my bag of records and when I came back I gave you a tiny porcupine because you seem like the kind of person that would appreciate it. Consider it my way of saying you are magical.” Milkcrate, Fishtown
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