Teens Urinate on ‘Entire’ Northern Liberties Houses, Have Really Long Sex

NBC 10 reports Saturday's Radio 104.5 Block Party got out of control, with teenagers peeing and hooking up all over the neighborhood.

NBC 10’s Denise Nakano reported Tuesday night on spillover from the Radio 104.5 block party, held last Saturday at the Piazza. And I mean “spillover.” Per NBC 10, there weren’t enough free toilets at the Piazza, and so teenagers seeing Phantogram and Chvrches left the Piazza to go pee on things in Northern Liberties.

“My entire house was peed on, people were having sex two feet in front of my children and everyone was drunk that day,” said Sibyl Lindsay of Northern Liberties.

This is some high-class hyperbole, as a few pointed out on Twitter. Her entire house was peed on? I did not know NBC 10’s coverage area included Brobdingnag.

“There was a lot of young people in the back, underage drinking, staggering around drunk, urinating on my garage,” said Clarence Manson of Northern Liberties.

Sounds like a party! Anything else?

One neighbor recorded two teens having sex out in the open. Neighbors say the teens continued for another 40 minutes after they were told to leave.

Did the neighbor record the teens having sex for the full 40-plus minutes? Wouldn’t that make him a “pornographer” and not a “neighbor”? Also, 40 minutes? That’s pretty solid stamina for one sex act outside, even for a teenager. Are we sure these were teenagers and not Sting and Trudie? So many questions!

Even with local news hyperbole, the neighbors have legitimate concerns. Fortunately, the next Radio 104.5 block party has been moved to the Festival Pier at Penn’s Landing, so people can just pee out into the Delaware River.

In other public urination news, tens of thousands of people peed all over Broad Street Sunday — and not a peep from the media.

Follow @dhm on Twitter.