Phillies Sign Bobby Abreu to Minor League Contract

This would've been exciting news about 12 years ago.

Continuing their 2014 odyssey of ensuring every former Phillie has a home with the Phillies, the team has signed (aging) (former) slugger Bobby Abreu to a minor league contract. Remember him? We barely do. Crossing Broad grouses: “100% sure the Phillies have given up on the season. Amaro is Peter Gibbons in Office Space right now. He doesn’t care. He’s trying to get fired. He’s one week away from bringing a fish into the office and slicing it open on his desk. It’s not that I’m lazy, I just don’t care.”