Report: Penn Athletics Really Suck

Dead last in the Ivy League.

The Palestra. Courtesy of the University of Pennsylvania.

In what will come either as deeply embarrassing or ironically refreshing news, it turns out Penn athletics are the shame of the Ivy League.

Penn finished last among Ivy League schools and 102nd out of 221 Division I schools overall in the 2012-13 standings for the Learfield Sports Directors’ Cup, a measure of collegiate institutions’ overall athletic success for a given year.

However. In the sports you actually care about–football and basketball–they’re the pride and joy of the Ivy League.

Penn men’s basketball and football have, in fact, ranked first and second respectively in conference wins in the last decade, even with the Quakers’ men’s hoops success declining overall in the past six seasons.

Last weekend’s loss to Brown (Woo!) notwithstanding. [DP]