It’s Time to Hoard Your Sriracha Sauce

A shortage is coming! We're all doomed to bland food!

Uh-oh: “A judge is set to decide Thursday whether to grant Irwindale’s request to stop production of Sriracha sauce while the company tries to limit odors wafting into the neighborhood. The decision could have serious ramifications for next years’ supplies of Huy Fong Food’s three hot sauces: Chili Garlic, Sambal Oelek, and the wildly popular Sriracha ‘rooster’ sauce.”

I think Darth Vader speaks for all of us here:

A local TV station explains the problem:

The city of Irwindale filed a lawsuit Monday asking a judge to stop production at the Huy Fong Foods factory on Azusa Canyon Boulevard. Residents nearby have been complaining of burning eyes, irritated throats and headaches from the chili odor.

“We’ve got residents that can no longer enjoy the outside,” said City Manager John Davidson. “They have headaches, they have coughing and then obviously, their eyes are being irritated.”

Davidson says the Sriracha plant is the source of those problems, and residents and neighboring businesses have been complaining about the fumes from all the peppers.

The Atlantic Wire explains how to survive the Srirachalypse.

How You Want the Chips to Fall: Sriracha means nothing to you. Like you like to dip your phở noodles in it, and sometimes like it on your eggs, but like any other hot sauce, you could take it or leave it. But you are always searching for power, and Sriracha, if times get tough enough, could be just that. Think of a world where people would pay top dollar, and cities are brought to their knees for a bottle of Sriracha, and imagine yourself on top of it.

If that sounds like a dream for you, then you should start buying copious amounts of Sriracha now. And hope Tran’s company goes down in flames, and other cities follow Irwindale’s lead and stop producing delicious spicy condiments. Soon, the world and food will be tasteless and gray, but everyone will know where to turn