Why Celebrity Women Don’t Tweet Photos of Their Vaginas

It's not that straight men (and lesbians) don't find them arousing.

Last week’s installment of the ongoing saga of Anthony Weiner’s weiner got me to thinking about vaginas.

Why is it that male celebrities — Brett Favre, Bobby Brown, Kanye West, Weiner, et al. — love to tweet photos of their naked manhood, while their female counterparts have yet to do so with their lady parts?

Perhaps this is just another example of the double standard rearing its ugly, well, head. Dick pics are sexy; vagina shots are gynecological. A tumescent penis projects power and dominance; vaginas represent mystery and intrigue.

And yet, straight pornography abounds with vaginal close-ups. By definition, that means the female organ is a turn on for many heterosexual men and, lest we forget, homosexual women.

Another theory is that women celebs are simply too classy to tweet their twats. Lady Gaga’s outrageousness on stage is one thing, but for her to commit her privates to the Twitterverse is quite another.

Like it or not, these things always go viral. And once such an image is available to the world, its effect on the reputation of a woman differs markedly from that of a man. Again, blame it on the double standard.

In the same way that a male ‘playa’ is a female slut, a man who sends out a graphic of his genitalia is viewed in a far less harsh light than would a woman if she were to do the same. Game over, case closed. Our culture hasn’t come that far.

For rappers like Kanye West and Bobby Brown, their tweets probably enhanced their gangsta images, and judging by the dimensions of their junk, opened the door to a lucrative second career in porn.

Retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre endured a brief PR uproar, but he’s still out there flogging Wranglers Jeans, Sears and Hyundai. As for Carlos Danger, aka Anthony Weiner, the effects will be seen in the New York City Democratic mayoral primary Sept. 10.

Weiner has vowed to stay in the race, but who knows how many more tweets and sex-texts might surface in the next six weeks? Some critics say his indiscretions may have already cost him the election, as well as his marriage, to former Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin.

The fact that Weiner still has a shot to be the Democrats’ candidate speaks volumes about gender entitlement. Had a woman been in the same position, it is inconceivable that she would have maintained any semblance of standing at the same juncture.

Here’s the moral of the story: After a suitable period of public quietude, celebrity boys and their hanging chads will be forgiven almost anything. Penises will be penises, right?

On the other hand, celebrity girls and their vaginas need not apply. Redemption is not an option.