Joe Paterno Is Alive and Lunching With Elvis*

* Editor’s note: Joe Paterno is not alive.

There have been a number of conspiracy theories surrounding the ouster of Joe Paterno from the Penn State football program in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, but this letter Tweeted by ESPN’s Bob Ley today takes the cake:

The answer to your question, Doug, is: No.

[Hat tip: Crossing Broad]