Jamie Moyer Won’t Retire Because Screw You Is Why

Let’s stipulate that Jamie Moyer should never have to buy a drink in this town ever again: He grew up a Phillies fan, ended up being the oldest player ever to get a hit for the Phils, and then—when he was 45 years old—won 16 games and did just about as much as anybody to put the team in the World Series in 2008.

That might’ve been a good time to ride off into the sunset, but Moyer seems bound and determined to keep pitching until his arm falls off. That’s the only explanation for these comments after he threw out the first pitch at a Mariners game:

Moyer, who turned 50 in November, was there for ceremonial purposes only and likely won’t play for any team in 2013. But speaking to reporters before the game, the Mariners’ all-time leader in victories refused to rule out the possibility of a comeback.

“I haven’t closed that door yet,” said Moyer, who broke in with the Chicago Cubs in 1986. “I don’t know when I would make a decision. I really haven’t put a lot of thought into it. I’m enjoying my time at home at this point.”

He also talked a lot about how much he loves gardening—because old people, amirite!—so maybe he’s retired and doesn’t know it yet. But, dude, you’re 50. It’s OK to tell people you’re not a professional athlete anymore. Then again, with the Philies rotation looking like it does right now, who’s to say he won’t get a phone call sometime soon? Kid Grampa, you’re back in the show!