Hunty Games: The Snatch Game — No Sizzle all Fizzle
From the beginning, the queens reeled over the double elimination from last week. Before the intro could even usher us into the episode, insults and shade were thrown around the workroom like Rihanna before the 2009 Grammy’s. Jade Jolie and Alyssa Edwards started going at it, and Roxxxy pouted in the corner that she came way close to the bottom. While Jade Jolie does annoy the shit out of me (literally … I have crapped myself on two occasions due to her giggling), girl can hold her own when tough-cookie Alyssa comes after her.
Mini-Challenge Rucap: This week’s mini challenge was a “Who Wore It Best” competition co-judged by Us Weekly senior editor Ian Drew. The lady boys had to make outfits out of Snuggies. Now, I don’t know what Ru was going for but she failed to pick the best in each group. I did love Detox adding the neon accents to her zebra, but Coco legit made that cuddly couture. Alaska wore a fucking lion mask with her giraffe print. Something is not right with Alaska and that make’s her perfect. Instead, Roxxy won their group. And the pink team was all sorts of pitch-poor, except that Jinkx’s third Olsen twin impression was pretty hilarious. I have said it before and will say it again, girl can perform.
Main Challenge Rucap: This week’s main challenge is everyone’s favorite, SNATCH GAME! The time when the queens are challenged to make us laugh with their celebutard impressions and impersonations. Now, here we go. What ceases to amaze me is season after season, they fuck this up. Just like Jinkx, and later Michelle, says, if you’re going to be on RuPaul’s Drag Race, you know you will have to play Snatch Game. Take Sharon Needles. You know she only perfected her Michelle Visage in season 4 for the sole reason of being on the show. I doubt she is known in Pittsburgh for her amazing Michelle Visage impersonation. No. She perfected it for the show and it was fantastic. What also gets my jock strap in a bind is so many of the girls fail to see the importance of choosing funny personalities and instead opt for the beautiful. Which is usually boring. And man, was this Snatch Game boring.
From the get-go, I knew we had a problem when no one really seemed to know who Little Edie was. Grey Gardens is a gay cult classic and poor Jinkx was put in the corner by ignorant Roxxxy and Coco for choosing the icon. Really? You don’t know what Grey Gardens is? Does the hit Broadway musical or 2009’s made-for-TV film starring lesbians Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange ring a bell? Pathetic!!! Give back your gay cards, people, and hand in those anal beads.
Ivy Winter’s Marlyn Monroe was void of personality. Alyssa Edwards and Jade Jolie both found a way to make Katy Perry and Taylor Swift even more boring. Detox chose Ke$ha and ended up peeing all over the set — but not crapping all over her competition. I was hoping Lynesha’s last-minute change from First Lady Michelle Obama to First Lady of Salsa Celia Cruz would help, but it didn’t. Each season, the girls from Puerto Rico fuck up this challenge. They get lost in translation each year and always end up in the bottom. Everyone swooned over Roxxxy’s Tamar Braxton, which I thought was the easy way out. Also, really Roxxxy? You gonna read Jinkx for picking an unknown when your choice is Toni Braxton’s sister?
The clear winners of this challenge were, of course, Jinkx for her fabolousy perfect and hilarious emodiement of the GAY CULT ICON Little Edie Beale. Close to second was Alaska’s Lady Bunny that many labeled as a risk from the jump. Alaska has yet to win a challenge and you could see the disappointment on her face after they announced Jinkx’s victory. Good for Jinkx. Girl had to struggle over her emotions during this episode trying to justify her drag to some of the other queens. I’ve been there, and I know it can be tough. You keep that head high Ms. Thing and just maybe your uniqueness, nerve and talent will mute all the haters.
Runway Yes’s: The girls were asked to bring us FISH FIERCENESS. Ivy’s Finding Nemo-inspired gown was a hit. Alaska channeled Little Mermaid Ariel realness and Lyneshia was stunning, while Jade Jolie managed not to make me shit myself in her all black and sexy look.
Runway Oh-Honey-No’s: Detox’s silhouette-less jelly fish getup failed to impress anyone. Poor Jinkx has yet to show us her glam and Michelle hung her out to dry for it. Coco wore a tasteless and tacky tribute to Minaj.
Lip-Sync-Off: Alyssa’s immunity saved her from being in the bottom two. Instead, Detox and Lynesha found themselves having to lip-sync for their lives. Now, Lynesha did a pretty superb job, but it was Detox all the way with her unique comedic style of lip-synching that was perfect for a Cher song. I thought maybe after last week’s double elimination we would have a double shantay you stay. Alas, there was no such twist this time, and Ms. Lynesha Sparx sashay’d away
Best Sound Byte: Alaska, with “I’m my own continent. I’m incontinent.”
Tammy’s Top Three: Well bye-bye, Lynesha. I guess the girl didn’t have it in her. I still say Detox, Roxxy and maybe some Jinkx? And what about Alaska? I really don’t know. I guess the only thing we can do is keep watching, and hoping that UNIQUENESS wins over the rest.