Philly Man Crawled Through Movie Theaters to Steal Credit Cards From Purses

A federal jury in Hartford has convicted a Philadelphia man on charges of identity theft and using stolen credit cards. The 49-year-old bought tickets to movies popular with women and would slither across the movie theater floors to steal credit cards from their partially opened purses. He and his accomplices would then get cash advances from Connecticut’s casinos and go on spending sprees. They spent tens of thousands of dollars, probably all on dry cleaning and therapy after realizing how much chewed gum and crusty Gummi Bears he rubbed against while crawling in the dark. Insert “Hoobastank sucks” joke here. [New Haven Register]