Celeb Scoop: American Culture Officially Dies With the Premiere of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

Plus: Kelly Ripa loves her some Botox, Jimmy Fallon won't host the Oscars, there's an Alf movie in the works, and more of today's celebrity news.

Honey Boo Boo Premieres. Everyone is talking about the Toddlers & Tiaras spinoff Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, which premiered Wednesday night on TLC. Just know that, when you watch this show, you’re contributing to the downfall of American culture. Yes, even if you’re doing it ironically. If you have no clue what Honey Boo Boo is, and are culturally self-masochistic, cruise on over to Gawker where they explain everything in all of its sad, sad glory. [TLC]

Kelly Ripa Loves Botox. She says she uses it as much as possible.

I work out every day. I don’t overeat. I try to drink water, but I prefer wine, and when all else fails, I get Botox injected right here, right into my forehead as much as possible!

It’s when my kids start asking me if I’m mad at them, and I say, ‘Why do you think I’m mad at you?’ They say it’s because I’m frowning. I go, ‘Oh no! I am? I’ll be right back!’ [Express]

Fallon Won’t Host Oscars. Jimmy Fallon and Lorne Michaels had been in talks to host and produce the Oscars. Fallon says he’s not going to host. [EW]

Alf Movie in the Works. Nothing in Hollywood is sacred, so the producer behind the Smurfs movie has reportedly signed a deal that will put the cat-eating alien on the silver screen. [Gawker]

Gitmo Prisoners Love Fresh Prince. Detainees at Guantanamo Bay are apparently bored to death with Harry Potter. They’ve decided they’d rather catch up on their ’90s sitcoms and have fallen in love with The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Ryan Dunn’s Estate Sued. The parents of the passenger that died when Jackass star Ryan Dunn crashed his Porsche while driving drunk at 132 mph last summer have filed a lawsuit against Dunn’s estate and Barnaby’s West Chester, where Dunn was drinking the night of the crash.