Eagles vs. Phillies: Who Wins?
Yesterday was one of those days for Philly sports fans. Of course you’d start with the Eagles game at one o’clock. But what would you do when the Phils game started at two? Stick with the Eagles, of course. The Phils play 162 games in the regular season, and the Eagles only play … how many is it this year? Well, anyway, a whole lot less than that.
Except. Except! As of yesterday, the Phils had gone a long time without winning—eight games, in fact. It was their longest losing streak since the bleak 2000 season. And what if you’d watched every single one of those lousy eight losses, including but not limited to the two day/night doubleheaders of which the Phavored Phew dropped both halves? It didn’t seem right to abandon the team in its time of need.
Fortunately, the Eagles pretty much solved my dilemma. They got smoked fast for two touchdowns, were offsides a whole mess of times, threw a bunch of interceptions, fumbled, mismanaged the clock, got burned by some guy named Victor Cruz, and failed to convert—repeatedly—from the one-yard line. By three o’clock, I was toggling back and forth between them and the Phils, who, apparently relieved that all their fans were busy watching the Eagles lay an egg, were laying down 19 hits against the Mets. If we promise not to watch, dudes, will you please beat Atlanta this week?
The only bright spots in the Eagles disaster—if you don’t count the Vick fumble fortuitously recovered by Jason Peters, who was grinning even as he was tackled, and Owen Schmitt’s hurdle over Corey Webster—was the performance of the kicking duo of Henry and Henery, who always make me think of that Herman’s Hermits song. (“He’s me eighth old man, he’s Henery …”) These two rookies are so new, I don’t know what either of them looks like. Actually, I just checked online, and Chas Henry has blue eyes to die for. However, Alex Henery went three for three for field goals, which matters even more. I didn’t have the heart to watch after Kafka threw his first interception. Back on the diamond, Roy Halliday had gone six scoreless innings before departing the game leading nine to nothing, whereupon a succession of relievers let things get, um, interesting. Bring October on! After that, considering that Michael Vick is down to one good hand, we’re not so sure.