It’s Time to Cancel “Glee”

Nine ways to save the show (including what to do with Jane Lynch)

The facts: Just two seasons. Ten (!) albums. More than 300 songs on iTunes. More singles on the Billboard Hot 100 than The Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Elvis. Sold out concerts. Yet, as consistently popular—and lucrative—the music may be, Glee is wickedly inconsistent. Which begs the questions: With all of the music money, do the producers actually care about the quality of the show? Based on this season, no.

[SIGNUP]There are times that I thoroughly enjoy the madcap mixture of camp, music, poignancy and over-the-topness. But mostly, I shake my head and question why I continue to watch. For every lovely moment between Kurt and his dad, you get Finn singing to a sonogram. For every Brittany zinger, you get Sue and Will singing in a pediatric cancer ward. An episode will make you feel like the show is turning around (the wonderful, Joss Whedon-helmed “Dream On” that actually had live-sounding music), and then slaps you back into reality (“A Night of Neglect,” with the complete misfire, aka “The League of Doom” who deserved to be heckled).

If the Glee producers can’t focus more on improving the third season, rather than planning another album, then the show should be canceled. Just replace it with an amalgamation of American Idol and the Brady Bunch Hour.

Here’s how things can get better.
1. Provide overarching plots. Simply saying in every episode that you’re working on sectionals or regionals doesn’t cut it. We need to know that creators know where they’re going, and not just as lost as we are.

2. Take time with the storylines. Case in point: Within about three episodes, Rachel found out her biological mother was the coach of Vocal Adrenaline and then saw her mother leave forever with Quinn’s baby (in probably the fastest adoption process ever). Why wasn’t this stretched out over more episodes? It was an engaging storyline that ended almost before it began.

3. Make better music choices. Instead of finding a way to create a plot around a hit song, why not find a song that fits the plot? We fell in love with this show because of a Journey song, but now we marvel at the latest single from Adele being crammed into the episode.

4. No more theme episodes. For a series with strong plots and guiding storylines, theme shows can be a fun distraction. But for Glee, they simply feel like a cheap way to fill an hour. And sell another record. [Side note: If you’re not comfortable saying “transsexual” on TV, why the hell would you choose to do Rocky Horror (oh, the horror)?]

5. No more Will Schuester rapping. ‘nough said.

6. Use guest stars sparingly and intelligently. If you ever find yourself saying, “we should do another episode like the one with Olivia Newton-John,” then do the exact opposite. And, instead, focus on the existing cast (see #7).

7. Utilize the rest of the cast. It’s time to give A-storylines—and solos!—to Mercedes and Tina. [Side note: Uh, what happened to Beist?]

8. Integrate Jane Lynch. Sue Sylvester has gone from being the series’ main antagonist to a sideshow freak. This season she’s been the Grinch, David Bowie and a tooth-pulling torturer (hilarious, no?). She’s been nice, she’s been mean, and she’s been psycho. Make her principal. Bring back the Cheerios. Just make her relevant again. Otherwise, cut this part and release the talented Lynch to pursue other projects.

9. Acknowledge the band. Give them names, a few lines, or simply acknowledge them. It’s getting awkward.

I want the show to succeed. Why else would I watch week after week? (Or devote this much time and energy writing about it?) I can’t quit it. So even if producers ignore my comments, I know I’ll continue to watch. And hope Glee finds its way back to the wacky heart of the first episode.

But if the world should end this Saturday, then … well … never mind.