Ed Rendell Is the New Daily News Sports Columnist

There’s a lot happening over on North Broad Street today! It’s Larry Platt’s first day in charge and in his introductory manifesto is making the rounds online. Some highlights:

• “Speaking of loud voices, I also want to welcome our new sports columnist, none other than Ed Rendell. Some fifteen years ago, I sat with Rendell in the mayor’s box at Veterans Stadium while the Eagles waged a furious on-field comeback. He stood up, hoagie innards spewing from his mouth, while he pounded the plexiglas separating his box from that of new owner Jeffrey Lurie, trying to get Lurie and his nonplussed guests to join him in full-throated cheer. Lurie placidly kept his eyes glued to the field. Finally, waving in disgust, Rendell returned to his seat, saying, ‘This is the football box; that’s the quiche-eaters’ box.’ As we know, none of that passion has waned in the intervening years. I look forward to our Fan-In-Chief surprising and amusing us in print every week, starting this Wednesday.” [Philadelphia Will Do]

Translation: Screw you, sports journalists!

• We won’t be predictably partisan, however. We’ll call it like we see it, without allegiance to one side or another. Our ideology will reside in our commitment to our reader. Consequently, tomorrow, we’ll be changing our tag line from “The People Paper” to “The People’s Paper,” in order to underscore our populist mindset. Our tone should be wiseass reformist; crusading, but careful not to take ourselves too seriously, lest we morph into self-righteousness. We’ll be for honesty, openness, and fairness; we’ll be against corruption, exploitation, and abuse of power. We’ll celebrate that which merits celebration and call out that which needs fixing. [Philadelphia Will Do]

Translation: Hats off, copy editors!

Meanwhile, Philly.com launched their digital versions this morning. Though they caused major site slow-downs this morning, the kinks seem to have been worked out. Unfortunately, as Philebrity’s Joey Sweeney notes, they’re sponsored by The Dump. Nope. No irony there. [Philebrity]