How Women Can Make the First Move

It's 2011. Take some initiative, ladies

Dear Monica, I am sick of waiting around for guys to ask me out. If I meet someone that I am interested in can I do the asking? Since I’m writing you, where are these men hiding? — L.D. Springfield

This is the 21st century. You can and should make the first move in asking out a man. We’re not living in the 1950s where women are expected to be passive. Women are heads of companies and countries — certainly they’re capable of asking out a man. Here are some ideas to get the ball rolling.

  • Men are probably not at sushi restaurants. More likely they’re at the steak houses. Hang with a girlfriend at the bar at Capital Grille, Butcher and Singer, or for the more mature crowd, The Prime Rib. If you see a guy you’re interested in, buy him a drink. (Don’t forget to check for a wedding ring and make sure there are no tan lines!) Have the bartender make the introduction via a martini.
  • Start working out. Health clubs are great social scenes. Grab an extra bottled water and offer it to the guy you are eyeing. Read up on fitness-related topics so you can strike up an interesting conversation.
  • Coffee shops are filled with singles. Get your latte and grab a table next to the man reading the newspaper. Make eye contact and comment on Julian Assange. Nothing is more sexy than a woman who knows her current events!
  • Sporting events are guy magnets. McFadden’s is open year-round, so whether you are seeing the Sixers or the Phillies, it is jam-packed. Grab a beer and a burger, wear your favorite team jersey and scope the scene. Brush up on some team stats and you are good to go for conversation.
  • Charity events are a great place to meet someone as they peruse the silent auction tables. Theater companies, museums or fundraisers for non-profits have their yearly events at unique venues. The beauty of this approach is that with each event you attend you’re making a difference with your contributions as you are trying to see if there are interesting men in the room.
  • The next election may be two years away but in the political world, that means it’s just around the corner. Now is the perfect time to get involved with your party’s fundraising. Contact your local political headquarters to find out about volunteer opportunities and events. There is nothing more passion-inducing than a political discussion. Having one where you are both on the same side could be the perfect spark that you are looking for!

We are in the New Year. Take matters into your own hands and don’t wait for chance. You have to be the initiator of your own success! 2011 is your year to make it happen.

Monica Mandell, Ph.D. is the Director of the Philadelphia office of Selective Search, the premiere (off-line) upscale matchmaking firm for the most eligible singles.
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