Dating Dilemma: “He Won’t Introduce Me to His Family”

Plus: What to do when a divorcing friend puts her kids in the middle of the marital mess

I have been dating a guy for six months. We are both divorced with young kids. I have introduced him to my parents, my children and my friends. He has introduced me to no one on his side. He says he loves me and to be patient. What do you think? —K.J., Philadelphia

Many times a new girlfriend does not get to meet the kids unless the man believes that there is a future with the woman he is seeing. Clearly, you have deep feelings for your boyfriend and have shown him this by bringing him into your world.  He should know how you feel based on your actions. Sadly, it seems he is making a statement through his aloofness.

If he truly loved you and thought that the two of you had a future together, he would begin the process of introducing you to his children, family and friends. He is taking advantage of your kindness by continuing to be in the presence of your loved ones while he does not reciprocate in kind. Six months is enough time to know if the two of you have the potential to move forward. To me, your relationship is not headed in a good direction. Be honest and upfront with him. If he has the same feelings for you that you have for him, he will start making you a part of his life. If he does not, move on. You are way too good for him.

Dear Monica,
My best friend is getting a divorce. I see that she is putting her kids in the middle of the chaos and causing them huge stress. I am from a divorced family and I’m empathetic toward these children. Should I talk to my girlfriend? —L.M., Marlton, NJ

Welcome to Divorce Land! You have the right intentions to talk to your friend and implore upon her to think about how her actions are impacting the children. But in this case, I say, “Zip it”. Unfortunately, she is way too emotionally involved to see the forest from the trees. The only result of this conversation is that she will be angry and pull back from you. If you are close to her children, take them out to lunch and a movie. The best thing that you can do for the kids is to provide some healthy and fun distractions.

Monica Mandell, Ph.D. is the Director of the Philadelphia office of Selective Search, the premiere (off-line) upscale matchmaking firm for the most eligible singles.  Please send your questions to: