Ask Monica: How to Re-Enter the Philly Dating Scene

Plus, some post-college relationship advice for a young Penn grad

Hey Monica,
I’m a 39-year-old divorced man with two young kids. How do I re-enter the dating world in Philadelphia? This is all new to me. — John

You should think about re-entering the dating world in terms of what makes you happy. Begin by focusing on ways to connect with people who like what you like. If you are into working out, try The Sporting Club or Sweat. For the politically minded types, there are several elections coming up where you could volunteer your time (many romances have come about via campaigns!!). If “see and be seen” is more your style, Washington Square and Rittenhouse Square are totally happening places in the warmer weather. Take advantage of outdoor dining like Rouge and Parc. The Art Museum’s “Art after 5” program, which happens on Friday nights, is a wonderful way to connect with women who enjoy art and music, as they have live jazz and food. If you want to go to a hip and popular bar, Del Frisco is the place to be. [SIGNUP]

The good news is that the weather in Philly is beautiful and it is a perfect time to be out and about. Since you have two young children, take advantage of the playgrounds around the city. They are great places to meet and greet women who are with their kids. Also participate in as many activities at your kids’ schools as you can. Mothers love seeing involved dads at school functions These are a few suggestions to begin the process of putting one foot in front of the other and getting yourself out there. The most important thing to remember is to have a positive attitude and enjoy yourself.

Hi Monica,
My boyfriend and I are about to graduate Penn. We were both lucky enough to be offered jobs. The only problem is that our job offers are not in the same city. He hasn’t addressed this issue yet. Do I bring it up or just continue on my own path? -Beth

First things first — congratulations to both of you on your job offers during this difficult economic climate. The best way to approach this situation is via open, honest communication. A couple of possible scenarios could be happening here. He may not want to pressure you into trying to find another job, as this may not be so easy to do. He may not be thinking in terms of a long-term, committed relationship or perhaps he just has not really thought about this. You are both so young. What does your heart tell you to do? Is he truly someone that you feel committed to? My best advice is to sit down with him and have an open discussion about your relationship. This will be the clearest way to gauge what really makes the most sense for you.

MONlCA MANDELL, Ph.D. is the Director of the Philadelphia office of Selective Search, the premiere (off-line) upscale matchmaking firm for the most eligible singles. Please send your questions to: