Life at the Top – Two Liberty Place – Cole Hamels

As for the royals, Cole and Heidi are expecting their first child in October and plan to adopt another, from Ethiopia, next year. When I ask them whether they’ll stay at Two Liberty, I get platitudes and hedging. Recently, the media has reported that Cole and Heidi haven’t actually purchased their unit  and are mulling buying a fancy Colonial in Newtown Square. Which is the problem with throwing your lot in with celebrity cachet. Celebrities are fickle, transient. The only brand loyalty they show is to their own.

On the day I move out, I take one final spin through my fantasy apartment, drinking in those fabulous views. In the kitchen are the remnants of the huge gift basket I got when I moved in, to officially welcome me “home.”

Right before I moved in, I sat with Jamie Cooperstein in the clubby media room on the 37th floor, which is used for communal gatherings and has a certain Clue feel to it, as in “Marsha Silberstein, in the media room, with the lead pipe.” To give me a true glimpse into the new-resident experience, Jamie dutifully quizzed me about my wants and likes, from what restaurants I enjoy to what kinds of flowers I order. During the interview, I found myself unconsciously amping up my answers, casually mentioning that I’d recently vacationed in Barbados, and that my drink of choice was Pimm’s and ginger, to which I’d been introduced at a polo match. But my Thurston Howell facade shattered when I had the temerity to ask her about tipping. She visibly blanched. “Well,” she said in her most soothing kindergarten-teacher voice, “while we certainly appreciate our residents showing their gratitude for service they feel is outstanding, we would never expect them to carry cash.” Rich people don’t carry cash. Who knew?

And does it matter? With the economy still fuzzy at best, the era of the luxury condo may have passed in Philadelphia before it ever found its footing. Even for many who can afford it, the thought of residing in a showplace just seems so … 2006.

On the trolley back from “Two Liberty Night at the Phillies,” a 20-something guy named Edward sat across from me. When he figured out who I was, he asked the question I had heard from several other residents, each time issued with total sincerity: “So, are you thinking about moving in?” It reminded me that Fitzgerald was right: The rich are different. They live in a parallel world to ours. The shapes and sizes of their snow globes may vary, but the ethos is the same. Which is why I won’t be invited to the next Phillies game outing, or the upcoming Quizo night, or the dinner Cole and Heidi will host for their fellow residents celebrating the opening of R2L this fall.

But I did get invited back to book club.