Planning: Working Girl

Enlist help.  Okay, so you don’t want to be Bridezilla, forcing unsuspecting pals and family members to sacrifice weekends for tastings and fittings. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for a few favors. When, two months before my wedding, the planning reached a chaotic frenzy, I asked one of my ’maids – in a flutter of apologies and promises to make it up to her — to help craft 100 paper cones for the post-ceremony petal throw. Not only was she not miffed that I asked her to help, but we had fun doing it together.

It’s all about delegating. “Bridesmaids can hunt for bridesmaid dresses, or find pictures of past weddings and bring them to the bride’s attention,” says Sole. Also assign each of  your nearest and dearest (fiancé, mom, dad, sister, future mother-in-law) a specific vendor and, in the hectic weeks just before the wedding, ask them to contact that person to make sure all the specifics are in order. And remember, it’s all in the way you ask. (Thank-you notes never hurt, either.)

Get your groom involved.  While we’re discussing delegation, let’s remember one thing: There are two of you getting married. It doesn’t hurt to ask your groom-to-be to participate in the planning. No, he doesn’t have to tag along to every detail meeting, but it helps for him to know what’s going on, so he can take the reins should you need some backup help. Think of ways to get him involved — it will take some to-dos off your already-full plate and you’ll get to spend time together, which can be tough in the more hectic planning months. “Going to a band showcase is a fun thing you can do together, and then the groom can take the lead on that,” says Barness. “And often the groom does the honeymoon planning. Divvy up the chores between you.” Who knows? He may even start to like it.

Learn what you can (and can’t) do at work.

Don’t be that girl who spends her workdays dreamily leafing through wedding magazines. Your co-workers will hate you and, let’s face it, your boss won’t be too appreciative, either.

“Wedding planning can become all-consuming, but certainly no one wants to lose a job because they were online doing wedding research rather than work,” says Barness. “Designate a time — like lunchtime — and just focus on wedding things, rather than juggling office work and wedding work back and forth.”

And that bursting-at-the-seams planning binder? Leave it at home. Stick to quick, subtle web browsing — a great way to squeeze in some daytime planning. “Start a clip file at work,” says Sole. “Check out room schemes and different wedding albums online to get a lot of great ideas, and print them out and put them in a folder.” Also communicate with vendors through e-mail as much as possible, rather than risk the ire of nearby coworkers with countless overheard wedding-related phone calls.

Take a break. Really. All planning and no play makes for one frazzled bride-to-be. Take time to spend with your fiancé, friends and family, and — though it sounds near-impossible — try to have wedding-free conversations every once in a while. “Compartmentalize the wedding planning,” says Barness. “Plan to do it two days a week, but not five days. Everybody needs a break. If you are doing wedding work every single night, it becomes burdensome.” And don’t let your relationship take a back seat to meetings about hors d’oeuvres and bouquets. Schedule date nights with your fiancé — and leave the wedding talk at home.

Oh, and don’t try to multitask while driving.