Portland is Having a Major, Major Dildo Problem

A picture from @kolkata24x7 on Twitter.

No, this isn’t a piece of satire from The Onion. Residents in Portland, Oregon have been plagued with hundreds of dildos and other sex toys hanging from phone and power lines, and folks from the Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement aren’t quite sure what to make it, according to a report from Reuters.

The article from Reuters claimed that representatives from Portland General Electric do “not believe the rubber products posed a fire hazard.” The red and white dildos all appear to be tied together in pairs and slung over power lines, like one might find a used pair of sneakers or shoes dangling in the air.

A piece posted yesterday afternoon from The Advocate included a series of pretty hilarious pictures from Portland city residents who have captured the series of dildos and shared their shots on social media:

https://twitter.com/sa_da_tay/status/620362384771710981/photo/1

https://twitter.com/rabble/status/614931383291506688/photo/1

The Advocate also reported that a worker from a Portland city call center claimed that there haven’t been a ton of complaints from residents over the swinging sex toys, adding, “Most of the calls we’ve gotten lately have been from the media.”

Philly, let’s make this happen at a few intersections in the Gayborhood. Hey, it would be a little more intriguing than those new rainbow crosswalks (and, if the dildos were real, probably just as expensive).