Dear G Philly: Answering Reader Questions

My friends are renting a house at the beach this summer and I was invited to join them. I really like the idea of having a place to crash for the season and am happy to pay my way.

Only problem is that after I agreed, I found out they also invited someone I really don’t like – at all. He’s rude and I try to avoid him at all costs. He causes so much drama. But unfortunately he’s friends with several of my friends. And because they needed one more person to go in on the house (someone backed out), they asked him. How can I let them know that it’s a bad idea? He could ruin the whole summer.

Be honest. Talk to the friend who asked you to join in on the rental and let that person know about your concerns. He or she may not share your same feelings (sounds like you may be the one with the problem with this guy). But this at least gives you an opportunity to have your voice heard.

If you agreed on the share based on a certain group and that group later changed after you made your financial commitment, you would have every right to back out based on the new arrangement. It comes down to whether you want to be in on what could be a great summer or not.

If this guy is really as awful as you say, your friends may agree with you and find someone else (it could be they were in a pinch and maybe you can help find someone better suited to the arrangement).

The downside: Be prepared to be the odd man out. And find a few options for spending the summer in the city or with another crew of renters. You may need them if this share falls through. Do you really dislike the guy that much to pass up a summer at the shore?

I met someone I really like last year. We hit it off and shared a lot of laughs. As things started to get a little more intimate, she pulled away. Now, I barely see her and she never returns my calls. What makes it weird is that she’s friends with my best friend, so I see her out sometimes and she’s pretty cool on me now. What can I do to get things back to the way they were? I thought things were good.

Did something happen to make this woman run for the hills? It could be that a lot’s going on in her life. Or maybe she wasn’t ready for things to “get a little more intimate.” You may want to back off, let things settle and wait to see what happens. It sounds like she needed space and took it. That’s not saying an explanation wouldn’t be nice (and adult) but not everyone knows how to handle matters of the heart with the grace we might expect.

The best advice is to wait this one out. If she’s into you, you’ll know it. If she’s into playing mind games, you’ll know that, too. You may hear from her. You may not. But in the meantime, it might be best to move on. For better or worse, it sounds like she may have done so already.