Have You Got What It Takes To Compete At Open Stove?
Can you make dinner for 18 people in 35 minutes, starting from scratch?
What would you make with a bowl full of conversation hearts, some High Life, two venison loins and individually-wrapped cheese slices?
Can you name all of the mother sauces while I hum the Jeopardy theme song directly in your ear? After a couple rounds of absinthe?
How knowledgeable are you regarding mid-80’s comedy movies and can you answer trivia questions about them while wearing a tiny sombrero?
If you answered yes to any (or all) of these questions and are also a working cook or chef, then you might be exactly who we’re looking for as a competitor in this year’s run of Foobooz Open Stove nights at COOK.
We’ve been doing these weird, drunken, brilliant and occasionally dangerous competitions for a long time now. We’ve hosted forty Open Stove nights (give or take a few), and have had ourselves a fine ol’ time pitting cooks-versus-cooks in our own little Culinary Thunderdome. But after four years, we’re looking to freshen up our pool of competitors a little bit. We need some new blood, and so are opening the books to anyone who thinks they have what it takes to compete.
Of course, there are a few rules.
–You gotta be a professional, working cook or chef.
–You have to actually know what you’re doing.
–You have to actually know one other human being willing to cook with you as your sous chef for the night.
–You have to be comfortable working under pressure, in front of a live audience, with a drunken idiot of a host (namely me) occasionally doing things like eating your supplies, challenging you to spontaneous drinking contests, making you answer trivia questions, or throwing Skittles at you from atop a tall ladder.
You’ll be expected to prepare 4 courses for roughly 18 people, and must be prepared for anything. “Anything” includes (but is not limited to) being tied at the ankle to your fellow competitor, cooking with tongs duct taped to your hands, making something edible out of gummy bears or Cool Ranch Doritos, being given a terrible nickname, cooking blindfolded, cooking with secret ingredients, cooking with awful ingredients, cooking with someone else’s ingredients, answering trivia questions about the movie Strange Brew, doing shots, doing more shots, and, of course, the occasional dance-off.
Those who meet these standards should immediately reach out to Lily Cope at COOK (email@example.com) and tell her why you should be considered for a slot in one of our upcoming battles. Bonus points for anyone coming with a grudge they want settled in our arena. Double bonus points for anyone willing to bring their own lobsters. Or agree to an all-pancake-battle. Or with a funny accent. Cowards, slackers, dimwits and the easily offended need not apply.
Curious about what you’re getting yourself into? Check out all of our Open Stove recaps at the link below, appropriately titled, About Last Night…
All Open Stove coverage [f8b8z]