Next Up at The Palm: Belly Dancing, Tarot Readers and Blanche the Singing Bartender

Ah, the Palm. Though it is, perhaps, best known for its caricature wall, pricey aged USDA Prime steaks, the addictive “Half-and-Half” potato side dish, and oversize martinis, the restaurant that calls itself “the place to see and be seen” is now, apparently, “the place to see godawful theatrical productions“–at least in the Atlantic City location.

This morning, I received an email advertisement for dinner theater at the Palm, located in the Quarter at the Tropicana. Specifically, they’re presenting The Mind With the Dirty Man, the “classic play” by Jules Tasca, a faculty member at the University of the Arts. In case you’re unfamiliar with the silly show, the plot revolves around a citizens’ review board in New York that’s concerned with a local movie house set to host the world premiere of The Shoe Fetish, a XXX film. “Show a film like that here,” warns one of the review board members, “and we will have a run on size 5-1/2’s.” A 1988 New York Times review of the play deemed it “superficial” but “charming and entertaining.”

Should you wish to partake in this cultural vortex of an event (which has six showings from April 13th-30th), tickets are $75. That price includes the show, a pre-theater reception, and a three course dinner consisting of your choice of soup or salad (go for the lobster bisque), entree (unfortunately, the only steak is a “smothered” nine ounce filet), family-style side (don’t worry, the Half-and-Half is on there), and dessert (I dunno, chocolate bread pudding is probably the safest bet). Sadly, the price does not include the many, many stiff drinks you will require in order to delude yourself into thinking this was any kind of a way to spend a Friday night. “Make it a double,” you’ll call out repeatedly.

As for the blue-blooded among you who still power lunch at the Palm’s Center City location, have no fear: no dinner theater there for the foreseeable future. One manager I spoke with at the Broad Street Palm seemed perplexed by the Atlantic City Palm’s plans and promised, “We definitely won’t be doing dinner theater here.”