The Not-Eater Cold Map

9th and Passyunk
Philadelphia’s nexus of cheesesteak mediocrity. There are dozens of better cheesesteaks around town. Sure they aren’t open at 3 a.m. but do you really need a cheesesteak at that time, fatty?

Jolly’s Dueling Pianos
Jolly’s piano bars never seem to end well (see the eviction notice still in the window at 20th and Chestnut). And the Academy House spot is definitely cursed. Since its successful run as Marabella’s it has been a succession of short-lived concepts from the Smoked Joint to Sakeya.

So is this place open or not? We’ve seen the doors open irregularly over the summer, mainly for Sips. But why bother, nothing works here. Just ask Blue Horseshoe, 20 S 20, Center City Grille or the other forgotten concepts that have been there.

City Tavern
The government owned restaurant is having its lease put out to bid. We don’t think that’ll fix are issues with the reconstruction of a Colonial tavern. Namely the sight of poor waiters and waitresses dressed in Colonial garb and that $22 turkey pot pie, we’ve heard stories about that one.