Tom Haverfoods: No Better Way To Waste A Day

I would’ve posted about this yesterday, but I actually spent so much time refreshing the page and laughing my dumb ass off that I ran out of time.

For those of you who missed it, on last week’s episode of Parks & Recreation, Aziz Ansari’s character, Tom Haverford, did an extended, over-the-credits riff on the bizarre names he has come up with for everyday foods and drinks. Chicken parmesan, for example, was “chicky chicky parm parm,” root beer was “super water” and noodles were “long-ass rice.”

It took all of three seconds for the internets to jump all over this, and the result?, which proves forever and for always that the simplest things are often the funniest. There’s nothing more to the site than a picture of Tom and a single new Haverfood every time you reload the page. Best of the last ten minutes?

Hot wings are… Li’l flapperz

Milk is… Cereal sauce

Shrimp is… Tiny-ass lobster

Lemonade is… LL Cool Ade