9 Reasons Why A Glow-In-The-Dark Bottle Of Heineken Is A Good Idea

This just in from Foodbeast.com:

The world’s leading beer brand; Heineken, has just begun a new design program coined the ‘open design exploration’, that will create vibrant new concepts for bars, clubs and social spaces around the world…

The first new design? “A glow-in-the-dark aluminum bottle with a rad shooting star design that glows when exposed to black lights,” according to foodbeast (that’s a picture of it above), which will debut at a pop-up club in Milan in June. And while we here at Foobooz World Headquarters might believe that Heineken would be better off working on the beer inside the bottle rather than on the bottle itself, we still came up with a bunch of reason why a glow-in-the-dark bottle of Heineken might be as “rad” as Foodbeast thinks.

And they are…

1. 200 bottles of glow-in-the-dark Heineken arranged to spell out a declaration of love on that girl from the bar’s front lawn is less likely to get you a restraining order than pouring out kerosene in a heart shape and lighting it on fire.

2. New bottle looks super-awesome with your Ed Hardy douche-wear party shirt.

3. Aluminum bottle makes it difficult for Heine-drunk Milanese party boys to engage in artfully choreographed broken beer-bottle fights on the steamy streets of the Italian fashion capital.

4. Perfect for drinking while hanging out in your creepy uncle’s basement. You know, the one with the lava lamps, shag carpeting and velvet paintings of panthers hung everywhere.

5. Glow-in-the-dark bottle can help you find your beer during power outages–provided you have a battery-operated blacklight and have clearly marked the location of your good beer with a couple bottles of Heineken ahead of time.

6. Finally puts an end to those midnight games of blacklight Marco Polo being played by drunken hipsters all over the Pacific Northwest. (This isn’t really a thing, but now that dodgeball, hide-and-seek and barroom spelling bees have all been done, it’s only a matter of time before some skinny-jeans-and-Buddy-Holly-glasses dingbat stumbles upon the idea. I’m just trying to stay ahead of the curve.)

7. Because if you’re hanging out at a bar lit only by blacklights, a bottle of Heineken is probably the least dangerous thing you can put in your mouth.

8. Glowing bottle can be used to guide in alien spaceships all the way from the 1970’s. Can also be used for flagging down vans full of mystery-solving, ascot-wearing  teenagers and their talking dog sidekicks or confused Grateful Dead fans.

9. Because now people will know you drink crap beer even in the dark.