Top Chef All Stars: Unfinished Business

Fidel Gastro has stepped back to the plate and will be recapping this season’s Top Chef All-Stars.

When Bravo runs clips of an impending hospitalization, you know that you’re in for a good season, and last night’s Top Chef All-Stars premiered with brulee torches blazing.  The episode was pretty dense, however, so instead of running you through 18 quickfire dishes and another 18 elimination challenge dishes, I figured the best way to ease us all back into the Top Chef-recapping would be to offer up a few keen observations:

• The guy cheftestants gained all the weight that the gal cheftestants lost, especially Mike Isabella, who, along with the two Dales, has made his neck disappear.
• Spike’s made the switch to trucker hats from fedoras. He still can’t shake being a douche.
• Notable cheftestants missing from the fray: The other Voltaggio, regular guy Ed from last season, and Kevin Gillespie.
• People that shouldn’t be on the show but probably have nothing better to do: Stephen Aspirino and Elia Aboumrad (who was seconds away from having a nervous breakdown before being the first to pack her knives and go).
• Fabio basically threatened Tony Bourdain after he ripped apart his peasant dish.  That’s worth the price of admission right there.
• Padma continues to drink heavily throughout episode tapings.
• Marcel is still the worst person ever.

Food-wise, the cheftestants have all seemed to hone their craft (except Aspirino, whom I’ve already decided not to like).  Every chef says that they’re going to win, but unlike t-ball where everyone gets a trophy, there’s only one grand prize.  At a revised-upward figure of $200,000, the stakes are much higher than before, especially when faced with elimination challenges like last night’s, which was to cook the dish that got them eliminated.  Sadistic, yes, but it makes for great television.