The Checkup: Ryan Lochte Is Not the Brightest Bulb in the Pack

But those aaaaaabs...

• Oh, the Olympics. How they rocket once-nobodies to insta-fame like that. In 2008, it was Michael Phelps. This year’s suddenly-famous Olympian is another one to see in the pool: swimmer Ryan Lochte, whose dashing good looks and rock solid-abs have ladies around the world fanning themselves silly. (Confession: I have a picture of him from Women’s Health tacked to my wall, but that’s because my husband is a photographer and I wanted to show him the pleasing technical aspects of the photo—the lighting, the perspective, the angle. It has nothing to do with those abs. Geez.) But thank God we have New York Magazine to bring us all back down to earth, reminding us that while Lochte has good looks to spare, he leaves a tad to be desired in the brains department. Because, you know, we’re all human somehow. I give you: Deep Thoughts from Ryan Lochte, courtesy of The Cut. You’re so, so welcome.

• Check out the lead of this story on “A House Republican lawmaker likened the implementation of a new mandate that insurers offer coverage for contraceptive services to Pearl Harbor and the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks against the United States.” Um. What.

• Ok, ok. I’ll give you something good to end the week on. How about this: The story of Aetna CEO Mark Bertolini tweeting at a customer, who was laden with over $100,000 in medical bills his Aetna plan wouldn’t cover, and offering to pay “every last penny.”