The Checkup: Fat Sticks to Love Handles Three Hours After Eating

Depressingly precise research out of London.

• Well, this is just depressing. New research out of Oxford University found that fat travels through the body, converts into tissue, and sticks to your plumpest parts (hello, love handles) within three hours of eating big meals. Three hours!! Experts previously believed that fat meandered through the body, being used by muscles first before finally settling in exactly the place you don’t want it to. But it looks like our systems get right to the point, creating unwanted fat stores much faster than anybody thought. As MSN so eloquently puts it, “Fat races to the midsection like ‘Jersey Shore’ castmates vying for the best bunk.” Ain’t it the truth.

• In the category of Foods That Will Race to Your Love Handles, there’s this: an all-bacon burger patty, topped with a slice of bacon, bacon-cheddar cheese, a sunny-side-up egg, and some sort of bacon dressing. Unfortunately, I’m not joking. The burger appears on the menu of a Southern California burger joint called Slater’s 50/50.

• The London Assembly, an elected body that provides checks and balances for the mayor of London, wants to ban McDonald’s and Coca-Cola from the Olympics. Problem is, they’re the event’s longest-running sponsors. I smell a McShowdown.