“Cover It Up!”: This Snarky, Satirical Rant About Public Breastfeeding Is Perfect



The Huffington Post published a 1,387-word, snark-filled rant about public breastfeeding last night that, in 17 hours, has taken the Internet by storm, with over 23,000 shares and 95,000 likes on Facebook. It’s every bit ironic and satirical, and I think most—if not all—mothers would agree, it’s 100 percent perfect.

An excerpt:

As you know, (female) modesty is a highly protected value in modern society. Unless you’re a magazine cover model or in a music video, exposing your female udder flesh is entirely inappropriate. Science has proven that breasts are basically large vaginas. Only you and your partner should ever see them. Just because your breast-ginas are full of milk, doesn’t mean you get to wave them around.

The piece helpfully goes on to offer five tips for how to breastfeed “appropriately,” including: “Tip #5: Get some morals. Do you have sex in public? No. Then why would you pull out your SEX BREASTS for your baby in public?”

The comments section is equally entertaining:

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Including the, um, morons who don’t get the joke:

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Check it out for yourself here.

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