Top Dentists 2012: Kiss-and-Tell Toothpaste Taste Test

What product could kill your next make out session? Bacon toothpaste.

>> We’re previewing content from our Top Dentists 2012 issue all week long. Want to see it in print? Check out the February issue of Philly Mag on newsstands Friday!

Bacon toothpaste, beer lip balm—we couldn’t believe some of the products meant to spruce up a smile. We enlisted Cort Day and Kate Egan, the husband-and-wife owners of the Rittenhouse jewelry boutique Egan Day, to try them out and test their kissability. Spoiler alert: Bacon breath is not an aphrodisiac.

Bacon Toothpaste
Archie McPhee, $4.50,
She said: “This is so wrong. It’d be better than beef jerky as an appetite suppressant.”
He said: “Wow, weird. It’s like kissing a plate of bacon.”
Verdict: For those who want to live with their moms—forever.

Beer-Flavored Old Chub Stick Lip Balm
William’s Brewing, $2.90,
He said: “There’s beer in this? Can’t taste it.”
She said: “Your lips are glowing! Just stunning.”
Verdict: No beer buzz, but high marks for aesthetics.

Antiplaque Toothpaste
with Fennel, Propolis & Myrrh Trader Joe’s, $2.29
He said: “Refreshing and pleasant. I really like it.”
She said: “This is a good first-date toothpaste—subtle, different, slightly unusual. The ultra-cool hipster of toothpastes.”
Verdict: A surprising keeper.

Cinnamon Clove Healthy Mouth Mouthwash
Jason, $9.99, Whole Foods
She said: “I wanted to like this, but it’s too strong. Two hours from now, when it wears off, my breath will be perfect.”
He said: “Bitter. And there’s some sort of industrial-cleaner taste at the end.”
Verdict: Repellent. Our testers kept their distance—from each other.