How Lia Sophia, Tastefully Simple and Pampered Chef are Taking Over Women’s Social Lives

Exploit your friends for fun and profit!

Jenn arrived a half hour early, looking like four million bucks in some of the cool (and none of the Madonna) Lia pieces, including the $30 silver Discotheque earrings that I kind of wished were mine. We arranged everything on the coffee table in my living room. “Are you nervous?” I asked her.

“Not really.”

I was, and not because of the game. (Okay, a little because of the game.) Mostly, I was afraid none of my 13 neighbors would buy anything. I could have cared less about my free jewelry. I just wanted Jenn to earn what she needed to earn. I wanted to help her. That’s what friends do.

So I tactically poured champagne down the throats of my neighbors as they arrived. Then I herded everyone around the coffee table and refilled cocktails as people picked up pieces of jewelry, exclaiming things like, “Look at this!”

Jenn started her spiel: “This is my very first party. I joined the company because I was looking for a job that would let me stay home with my kids….” Everyone nodded. Just about every one of us had kids. I caught myself thinking, I bet I’d be good at this jewelry-selling thing. I then quickly shook my head back and forth, the way I do when trying to dislodge that embarrassing bowling memory from junior year that occasionally seeps into my consciousness. I went on to win three rounds of Jenn’s game. There was much laughing. I filled up the drinks again, and realized, Holy hell. This is actually … fun.

Even so, none of the guests wanted to host her own party. And no one signed up to be an advisor. We sold $650 in jewelry, which was $100 less than Jenn’s goal. But she made $195, and that paid for her start-up costs. I scored four pairs of earrings and two bracelets, plus Christmas presents for my friend (a $70 necklace) and my mom ($30 earrings).

One person didn’t buy anything. Jenn and I both noticed, which made me feel bad … and also vindicated. No expectation to buy anything? Yeah, right.

But expectation, I realized, is a funny thing. There were, in fact, lines between expectations (a.k.a. obligations, a.k.a. pressure) and women simply and gladly doing favors for each other. There had to be, or else this billion-dollar person-to-person industry wouldn’t perform better than the commercial retail market. This industry wouldn’t exist at all. Another guest bought a $16 pair of stud earrings, the least expensive item in the catalog. I figured she felt like she had to. That also made me feel bad. It just wasn’t really worth it—the $4.80 Jenn would make on that sale, the $3.20 I’d get in free jewelry.

But months later, as I pulled weeds in my front yard, that neighbor stopped by on her walk home from the train.

“How’s your friend doing with the jewelry?” she asked.

“Really well,” I answered, surprised that she even cared. “She’s done at least two parties a month since.”

“That’s great,” she said. “I had such a nice time at that party.”