FAQ: Today’s Eclipse
Solar Eclipse @ the sky | Monday, August 21
Today, from 1:21 p.m. to 4:01 p.m., Philadelphians will be able to observe Eclipse, which is a special space event. The sky will be darkest — around 79.9 percent — at 2:44 p.m. Thousands will gather at the Franklin Institute or their places of worship. Those who believe their souls are already lost are encouraged to view Eclipse using glasses built for that purpose, or devices made from household crap.
Here is a live stream to watch Eclipse as filmed by scientists from Earth and other places:
And here is a song created by Skull Eclipses (Philly rapper/producer Lushlife and Austin producer Botany) intended to be played during the two minute, forty-second totality of Eclipse. The track also features always-in-demand Philly harpist Mary Lattimore. WXPN will air the song live, but you can download it here. (h/t Pitchfork)
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
There is much misinformation out there about Eclipse, like what is it? and can it be prevented? Hopefully this FAQ will help.
What is Eclipse?
Eclipse is when Sun flies between Earth and Moon.
And this makes darkness happen?
Yes, but not 100 percent in Philadelphia, because of a deal we made.
What causes Eclipse?
Old math dreamed up by giants hundreds of years before time.
Can I look at Eclipse?
Yes, that is how you see Eclipse.
Will it hurt if I look at Eclipse?
It will be excruciating.
What are the longterm effects of viewing Eclipse with bare eyeballs?
Blindness, embarrassment, dry mouth, weak stream, butt loss.
So I should have got those Eclipse glasses?
Yes, but it’s too late. Instead, make this cardboard contraption and put it on your head.
Can I watch Eclipse on TV?
TV does not work during Eclipse.
What other effects does Eclipse have?
Status updates become apolitical. Dogs bark. Geese lose their appetites. Lemons have diminished zest. Old men lean against walls in wide hallways. Latin words may be read in the stripes of zebras. Vines untangle. Baby teeth return.
What happens to people on Moon during Eclipse?
They set clocks one hour behind.
Does Eclipse signal the beginning of Purge?
That is not canon but maybe.
Can we stop Eclipse?
For more information on space, click here.