***Warning. The following contains predictions for major plot SPOILERS for Game of Thrones season four. Continue only if you want to sound smarter than everyone else. ***
Man, that felt good to write. I have always wanted to write a “Spoiler Alert” after reading so many of them.
Let me explain. You see, I love the TV series Game of Thrones on HBO. With all of the beheadings, boobs, and back stabbings, I feel like I’m back in a television newsroom.
I am not obsessed enough to dress up in little knight’s outfit and walk around on my knees at a convention pretending to be Tyrion Lannister, but enough to watch every episode twice and soak up everything I can read about the series online.
SPOILER ALERT. It’s coming. You’ve been warned, again.
And I love spoilers. A warning to me isn’t a warning at all, but an invitation to know more than anyone else. Yep, I’m one of those.
In Game of Thrones geek hierarchy, I am a poseur and proud of it. You see, there are those who have actually read George R.R. Martin’s novels that the series is based on (we’ve all met those smug bastards); and then there are the people, like me, who haven’t read the books, but still know major plot points because they read spoiler alerts online.
And there are thousands of spoilers available. It has become an online industry. Every major publication seems to have a Game of Thrones recap, available Monday morning and then a preview of the upcoming episode. There are also message boards, You Tube videos and web sites exclusively for those who read the books; these are spoiler-rich environments.
It’s great. With very little effort, you can look smart. It’s like college or being a TV anchor all over again.
The SPOILER is coming. I promise … I mean … I warn you.
I may join a Game of Thrones conversation with this, “Have you read the books?” The answer is almost always “no” and then you just have to hope someone doesn’t ask, “Have you?” before you can say, “Do you want to know what happens next?”
That’s when the group divides into the “Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell" group and the group of even lazier poseurs who not only don’t want to read the books, but don’t want to invest the time online to get their own spoilers.
You then break away with the latter group and speak in hushed tones as they hang on your every word. Suddenly you are their sensei.
Here is comes. You are at the SPOILER PRECIPICE.
So here is the SPOILER and my geek prediction.
Cat comes back … and she is going to be one mad mother.
Cat is Catelyn Stark, who had her throat slit after watching her son Rob get killed at the infamous “Red Wedding,” which was just an ambush masquerading as a wedding.
Those who read the books, ahem, know that Cat’s body was then tossed into the river and found by guess who?
Beric Dondarrion, the guy who keeps coming back from the dead, thanks to his buddy Thoros of Myr, a magical priest. Dondarrion finds Lady Catelyn's body on the riverbank. Her body is rapidly decomposing and, of course, her throat is still cut. Dondarrion, who has been revived around nine times by that point, is not doing so hot. Dondarian is loyal to the Starks and decides to give his life to bring back Catelyn.
There is one big problem: Catelyn Stark is nearly too far gone. She does come back to life, but she is decayed, and with her throat cut she can't speak. She has also lost much of her humanity. This mute, decayed, mad-as-hell, zombie mother takes Dondarrion's place as head of the Brotherhood Without Banners and changes it into a ruthless, merciless, vengeful, murdering machine.
Guess who is at the top of her list? Walter Frey and his little Freylings, the ones who set up the Red Wedding and killed her son.
My prediction is that this could happen this Sunday. What better day to bring back Cat than Mother’s Day?
As they say ad nauseum on NBC, “The More You Know.” Go forth and pose.
Follow @LarryMendte on Twitter.