Shoppists, I’m here to introduce you to labia makeup. Haven’t heard of it yet? The makeup—which has been around for some time but has just gotten more buzz of late—was created by My New Pink Button and it’s designed to “restore the youthful pink color back to your labia.” To think, here we were fretting about gray hairs when we really should have been worried about the color of our labias! In any case, the stain comes in four shades, each with sassy names weirdly reminiscent of your grandmother (think: “Bettie” and “Marilyn”, which is described as “good for beginners”). The Dye System Kit includes 20 disposable applicators, a mixing dish, labia colorant dye and an instructional guide. This is good: You don’t want to mess around down there, ladies.
The whole ‘labia makeup’ thing originally struck me as unnecessary, but as someone who’s read about women putting blush on their nipples to increase pink-ness (don’t ask), I started to think that maybe My New Pink Button was on to something. After all, vajazzling took over the world. Perhaps the beauty industry’s just been spending too much time thinking above the belt. So I ventured below it to sleuth out other questionable nether-region beauty treatments. The first thing I noticed? It seems Philly is a hotspot for vaginal beauty treatments. (Who knew?)