Applications to Swarthmore College dropped 16 percent this year, and the school has a culprit: The extra supplemental 500-word essay the school required in this year’s app. By contrast, applications at Penn — which dropped an essay this time — saw applications to the school rise 15 percent.
“Twice as many essays at twice the length was too much,” one prospective student who chose not to apply told the Inquirer. To be fair to Swarthmore kids, lots of people go there for math and whatever. But also it’s an extra 500-word essay for a liberal arts school. You’ll be writing much longer papers if you decide to attend the school!
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“Snakey” the 7-foot-long Boa Constrictor that escaped his home in Swarthmore nine days ago has been found. Very near to his home in Swarthmore. What a relief. No, not that he was returned home to his loving owner. I don’t care about that. Rather, I’m relieved that he didn’t kill any young boys. Allow a brief rant.
A. I have no sympathy for snake owners who lose their snakes. Snakes are not good pets. They don’t care about you, they don’t do anything exciting, and when they do, it’s usually to try and escape your home. And sometimes they strangle children.
B. This snake was really called “Snakey?” No wonder it wanted out.
Humans have had an anti-snake bias ever since the serpent ruined nudity. But there’s good reason for it. Remember Kaa, from the Jungle Book? Well, just as Kaa plotted to kill Mowgli, these creatures kill 20,000 humans a year. Sure, everyone wanted “Snakey” returned home, but not everybody had the same reason for it. Snakey’s owner,who was fond of letting him “sunbathe” in the yard, missed him. The rest of us were terrified he was going to slither up our legs and asphyxiate us. My colleague Nick Vadala, upon hearing me voice my dislike of snakes, made the point that dogs are probably more dangerous, statistically speaking. Let’s hit the books.
From 1979-2005, an average of 19 human deaths per year were caused by dogs in the United States. From 1960-1990, meanwhile, snakes caused about 10 U.S. deaths each year. Relative to the prevalence of each animal in heavily populated human areas, it seems clear which is more dangerous. Make pet snakes–poisonous or not–as common as pet dogs, and watch our fine nation turn into Snakes on a Plane. Okay, I’m finished. Thank you for your time.
Swarthmore police have warned you, Swarthmorians: A seven-foot boa is on the loose after it escaped its home on the 300 block of Park Avenue. As the Daily News points out, a couple of Canadian boys were recently strangled to death by a hundred-pound python, after it escaped from a pet store. My I suggest some snake repellent, Swarthmore? Only $9.99.
Apparently, this is what the “pet” looks like.
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH: Why buy in Swarthmore?
Looking to relive those wonderful college years? Consider moving to the charming borough of Swarthmore, located in Delaware County. The perks of living in this family-friendly town are innumerable—and we’ll start the list with the top five reasons why we think buying in the borough is a smart move.
1. It’s a dry college town. Swarthmore is a classic college town, without the one big headache of living near a university: seedy college bars. What residents do get is access to the college’s 300-acre arboretum, concerts and lectures, and other intellectually stimulating programs.
2. It has a high-performing school district. The Wallingford-Swarthmore school district is one of the best in the area. Strath Haven High School has won two Blue Ribbons of Excellence, and Wallingford Elementary School has one from the state and one from the federal government. The graduation rate at the high school is about 97 percent.
3.It has a cute town center. Part of Swarthmore’s appeal is its charming town center, which offers a collection of independent and unique stores. Among them is the award-winning Swarthmore Co-op, a community-owned food market prized for the fruit and vegetable quality.
4. It has an easy commute to the city. Swarthmore is conveniently located near both Philadelphia and Delaware with easy access to the Blue Route. It’s also located on the R3 Septa line with a station in the downtown area.
5. The town’s homes have character and charm. Just be warned: in this hot market, Swarthmore homes for sale can go quickly.